Boston Legal (TV Series)

Angel of Death (2007)

James Spader: Alan Shore

Quotes 

• [Shirley Schmidt is sending Alan to New Orleans to help out on a case] 

  Denny Crane : I just heard! New Orleans! My penis is already packed!

  Alan Shore : Denny, I would love for you to join, but this particular excursion is a rather serious one. Maybe you and I could go another time.

  Denny Crane : Are you nuts? That damned tornado wiped out half the place. There's no time like the present. Alan, we must seize the hookers - uh, the day.

  Alan Shore : You know, Denny, technically it wasn't so much a tornado as a hurricane. And you're holding a kazoo.

  Denny Crane : Not just any kazoo. A trombone kazoo. A go-to-New-Orleans-under-the-pretext-of-some-legal-case-to-play-with-a-Dixie-land-band kazoo.

  Vanessa Walker : I only have two plane tickets.

  Denny Crane : Oh, gee, I only have a Gulf Stream.

  Alan Shore : I think Denny wants to come, Vanessa.

  Denny Crane : Denny Crane: Down on the Bayou.

• [Alan and Denny talk on the balcony about how horrible it must have been in New Orleans in the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina] 

  Alan Shore : I tried closing my eyes again... to imagine. I couldn't. Nobody could, I suppose, unless they were there.

  Denny Crane : I was there. Well, I flew over in my Gulf Stream. Doesn't that count?

  Alan Shore : To some.