- Nora Walker: Where did they hide the booze? Tell me, really, I'm not joking.
- Saul Holden: Nora, if I knew where it was I'd be drunk by now.
- Kevin Walker: Okay, whatever. Look, where did you hide the wine? I need to get grandma a drink ASAP!
- Tommy Walker: It's in the closet.
- Kitty Walker: You put the wine in my closet?
- [Kevin opens the closet door]
- Kitty Walker: Is your little boyfriend in there?
- Kevin Walker: [yelling from closet] He's not my boyfriend!
- [Kitty and Robert enter a closet]
- Robert McCallister: If this is where you keep the wine, where do you keep your clothes?
- Kitty Walker: Shut your mouth and come on. Shut the door.
- [Robert shuts the door and looks around]
- Robert McCallister: I am having like a fifth grade flashback of Deena Segerson and seven minutes in heaven.
- [Kitty pours wine into glasses]
- Robert McCallister: Have you always been a closet drinker?
- Kitty Walker: Are you done?
- Robert McCallister: No, I'll think of some more.
- Robert McCallister: [looking around closet at shoes] Wow, this is quite a collection.
- Kitty Walker: Oh yeah, if only my shoes could talk.
- Robert McCallister: These are sufficiently slutty, what's their story?
- Kitty Walker: Hamptons, 2002, broke a heel dancing on a table. Got sandwiched in between this, uh, club promoter and some tortured playwright.
- Robert McCallister: [pointing out red platform shoes] Do you want to explain those?
- Kitty Walker: [laughing] Oh my God. Yes, Halloween two years ago, um, Tribeca loft party. Jonathan and I went as Sonny and Cher.
- Robert McCallister: Jonathan?
- Kitty Walker: Uh, yeah, Jonathan, my ex-fiance. Yeah, I'd rather talk about my shoes.
- Robert McCallister: Understood.
- Kitty Walker: You know tonight was unusually bizarre, even for my family.
- Robert McCallister: Are you kidding me, it's been fantastic...
- [pause]
- Robert McCallister: ...like dinner theatre or the circus.
- Robert McCallister: [in the closet] You know, we've been in here for like over a minute here, and we haven't even done anything. I got more action from Deena Segerson in the fifth grade.
- Kitty Walker: I can't. It's not that I don't want to, and I don't mean that I do want to, it's just that even if I did want to, I couldn't.
- Robert McCallister: With that kind of logic, are you sure you're not a Democrat?
- Kitty Walker: Oh Kevin, you know please!
- Kitty Walker: [to Robert] Now help me out, can you just please tell him that you have a gay brother too?
- Ida Holden: Who's gay?
- Robert McCallister: I think you just outed two brothers for the price of one.
- Kevin Walker: Thanks, Kitty. That would be me, grandma. I'm gay.
- Ida Holden: Oh, you're not gay. Justin maybe, but you?