- Bart Simpson: That's it! I want a license.
- Mayor Quimby: To kill?
- Bart Simpson: No, to drive.
- Mayor Quimby: Suit yourself.
- Utah Minister: And how many brides shall you be marrying?
- Bart Simpson: Just one.
- Utah Minister: What are you, gay?
- Homer Simpson: Son, one day you're gonna be a great father.
- Bart Simpson: Awww, and someday you will be one too.
- Bart Simpson: You know, I thought Darcy and I would be like a real married couple, instead we ended up fighting all the time...
- Homer Simpson: Eee, yeaa how about that?
- Grampa: Yes sir, we Simpsons have never married or even shook hands with anyone remotely interesting. In a world of 31 flavors, we are the water they use to clean the scoop. Grampa out.
- Lisa Simpson: [thinking] Oh, no. By speaking with forked tongue, I am in heap big trouble. Oh, no! Now I'm thinking in stereotypes!
- Bart Simpson: [Darcy is screaming at Bart to get her some strawberries] Take my wife... hey, I finally get that joke!