- [last lines]
- Richard's Ex-Wife: We ship out for courses in two days and to be honest, I don't feel like being sent to Ethics. Goodbye, Richard.
- [first lines]
- Ron Miscavige: Hello. I have great news for you. It's something we've wanted for a long time.
- Dianne Wheat - volunteer Scientologist: So what brings your interest in Scientology today?
- Teenager: Uh, South Park actually.
- Dianne Wheat - volunteer Scientologist: South Park? I don't think I've seen that one.
- L Ron: Well it starts like this, it starts like this. I was up in the Van Allen belt, this is factual. You'd be surprised how warm space is. And then something happened to me that I didn't know quite what had happened to me. I thought that some Facsimiles must have appeared in front of me, but they didn't look like Facsimiles. And I had a feeling like I might possibly go into the Sun, but I got confused. I got confused because the Sun was suddenly larger, and then it was smaller. And somehow or another I was doing a Change of Space Process that I myself was not familiar with. And it made me sort of bite off my Thetan fingernails just a little bit.
- OT III Training Tape: Fact One, a million years ago, is occasionally rigged with Christ and the Devil and an Angel.
- Documentary Voice Over: The Science Fiction Fantasist, turned Self-Proclaimed Messiah.
- L Ron: There was no Christ.
- L Ron: Xemu was put with several of his Cohorts in the centre of a mountain.
- Scientology leader: [taking back an award] That was just for the ceremony, you have to buy them from the online store.
- Scientology leader: [just completed the Sec-Check] How do you feel?
- Dianne Wheat - volunteer Scientologist: Confused.
- Distraught Father: Look, she left a box of all this Stuff. Hubbard? I don't want it. You can have it.
- Dianne Wheat - volunteer Scientologist: [Listens to the Secrets of "The OT-III Material", aka "The R6 Implant", aka "The Wall of Fire" while still a Preclear and yet does not Die of Pneumonia. "OT" is a Scientology Acronym which Stands for "Operating Thetan". The Highest Scientology Level is OT-VIII]