Metalocalypse (TV Series)

Girlfriendklok (2006)

Brendon Small: Nathan Explosion, Pickles, Skwisgaar Skwigelf, Charles Ofdensen

Quotes 

• Toki Wartooth : [the band has decided to do something about Nathan's insane girlfriend. They are standing over his bed, watching him sleep]  You bastard.

  [he raises a baseball bat] 

  Toki Wartooth : Why you makes me do this?

  Nathan Explosion : [wakes up]  Wha -

  [Toki clocks him over the head, and he blacks outs] 

  Nathan Explosion : [later; Nathan is tied to a chair in a dark room, lit by a single bare lightbulb. Someone throws water over him to wake him up]  Whoa! What the hell are you guys doing? I can't move!

  [Pickles slaps him across the face] 

  Pickles the Drummer : [taking a drag from a joint and exhaling]  Yeah... funny thing about bein' tied down...

  [he flicks the joint at Nathan's face; Nathan shouts in pain] 

  Pickles the Drummer : ... it's hard to keep your defenses up.

  Nathan Explosion : [Toki walks up and punches Nathan in the stomach; he groans]  Why... are... you doing this?

  William Murderface : [rubbing a meat cleaver and a long knife together]  You've been blinded by a manipulative cow. And we're here to save you. Taser him.

  Nathan Explosion : [Toki shoots Nathan with a taser] 

  [in agony] 

  Nathan Explosion : Whooooaaaaaa! Whoooooaaa! Stop! Stop! Whoa! Whoa! Whoooooaaaa!

  Pickles the Drummer : Stop.

  [Toki stops] 

  Pickles the Drummer : Take five on the juice, Toki.

  [Toki briefly shocks Nathan again] 

  Nathan Explosion : [in pain]  Whoa!

  Skwisgaar Skwigelf : [standing behind Nathan's chair]  Your attitude... is unacceptable. With... wha... er... why do you like that lady?

  Pickles the Drummer : Every time we see you with her, you look like a beaten dog.

  [he throws his head back and howls] 

  Nathan Explosion : Fine! You want the truth? I hate that lady.

  William Murderface : You hate her? And yet you are with her? Why?

  Nathan Explosion : I don't know!

  William Murderface : Toki.

  [Toki tasers Nathan again] 

  Nathan Explosion : [in pain]  Whoa!

  [Toki stops] 

  Nathan Explosion : It's the most brutal thing ever! It's not like regular hate! It's so much... more black! If she were a street gang, I'd fuckin' go to war with her with bottles and chains! But this is different! There's nothing I can do!

  Pickles the Drummer : [Pickles punches Nathan repeatedly in the stomach]  There's nothin' you can do? There's nothin' you can do?

  [he punches Nathan in the mouth] 

  Nathan Explosion : I could possibly break up with her, but dear God, man, you don't know what she's like! What if she won't let me?

  [Toki cocks a crossbow and aims it at Nathan's crotch] 

  Nathan Explosion : You're right! You're right, oh, God, you're right! I'm sorry!

  [he starts sobbing] 

  Nathan Explosion : I'm sorry!

  [he is blubbering now as Murderface cuts his bonds] 

  Nathan Explosion : I'm sorry...

  [he gets up, and Pickles embraces him]