- Boabby: [Jack and Victor enter The Clansman] Oh, look who it isnae.
- Jack Jarvis: Oh, that is fantastic patter, Bobby, who are we no today, ya prick?
- Victor McDade: Two lagers, ya fanny.
- Isa Drennan: I wis just sayin tae Jack and Victor, it'd be handy tae hae a key fur Wullie MacIntosh's hoose.
- Winston Ingram: I hae a key!
- [gets whacked by Victor]
- Winston Ingram: ... fur mah door. It's handy 'cause if I didnae hae wan, I'd huf tae climb in through the windae.
- Jack Jarvis: [referring to many bottles of milk on doorstep] Victor, Don't let this ever happen tae me. Aw the milk aw stacked up there and naebody even coming tae check on me.
- Victor McDade: That would never happen, Jack... For I would cancel my own milk, and simply take yours. Free milk.
- Jack Jarvis: Deed man's milk?
- Victor McDade: Best in the gear. And I would continue to do so until the relevant authorities corrected their error.