Family Guy (TV Series)

Padre de Familia (2007)

John Viener: TV Announcer, Michael McDonald, Uninjured Veteran #2, Superman, INS Employee, Noriega, Gregory Peck

Quotes 

• Lois Griffin : Oh, Peter, you look exhausted.

  Peter Griffin : I am, Lois. Life as a Mexican immigrant is brutal. Even after seven jobs and joining Menudo, I only made 25 bucks.

  Lois Griffin : Now, look, don't get upset, but I've been so worried about you that I asked someone for help.

  Peter Griffin : Who?

  Carter : Hello, fatass.

  Peter Griffin : [defiantly]  Lois, immigrants don't take handouts. They just take one DVD a month from the house they're cleaning until they have a respectable collection.

  Lois Griffin : It's not a handout, it's a job. Daddy employs lots of immigrants, and he said you could work at the mansion.

  Peter Griffin : Really? Well, thanks a lot, Mr. Pewterschmidt. I promise I won't let you down.

  Carter : Well, they all do eventually. Except for Noriega. God bless him and his drug money. I wish he were here today.

  Noriega : Hi, Mr. Pewterschmidt.

  Carter : Oh, look who it is!

  [chasing him around] 

  Carter : Come here so I can give you a hug. Come here so I can give you a hug.

• Peter Griffin : So, give me the good news. Did I pass?

  INS Employee : I'm afraid it doesn't look good for you, Señor Griffin. So far, you've failed everything, including the "behaving like an American at the airport" test.

  [cut to the airport, where Peter is dressed in a business suit, is on the phone, and carrying a tray of fast food] 

  Peter Griffin : No, it wasn't bad. Yeah, I'm on my way to the next plane now. Yeah, I got a middle seat, so I'm gonna see if I can switch. Ooh, a Sbarro. I'm gonna get a big, fat piece of pizza so I got something to stuff in my face while I'm reading USA Today.