User Reviews

...in the form of The Goo That Kills! From beneath the earth, it gets up and kills! Die, you pitiful humans with no respect for Mother Nature! Die in Hell and suffer a Thousand Deaths!

Nevermind that. I just felt like screaming something, anything, whatever, after seeing The Goo That Puts You To Sleep. There I was thinking the concept of a sinister mass of undefined substance rising from the bowels of the earth to take revenge on mankind sounded kind of cool. Knowing beforehand that this was (co-)produced by RHI, I knew I didn't have to expect a horror flick heavy on the stomach. RHI produces films & mini-series for television, but at least from what I had seen of them so far, most of their productions were supported by decent budgets, nice effects and a capable cast. I'm talking stuff from the 90's here, like the outer-space thriller "Lifepod" (1993) and their adaptation of "Gulliver's Travels" (1994). But after just now having seen "Something Beneath", I took the liberty of looking up their filmography as a production company again. And oh yes, things really went downhill for them in this new millennium. I can't see anyone who has seen the recent "Rise of the Gargoyles" (2009) disagreeing with me on that.

As the main location in "something Beneath", we have some sort of hotel/resort in which an environmental conference is about to be held. But the conference never happens, as guests start dying mysterious deaths. Responsible for the killings, is this black goo that's got the whole plumbing system of the resort messed up. When your skin touches the goo, you start hallucinating about your deepest fears, and you die, in one way or another. A guy who has asthma, gets pulled into the ground and suffocates. An extremely annoying celebrity babe - who again has me convinced that all video-bloggers are narcissistic, egotistical morons - gets assaulted by an ugly old hag coming from a mirror. A guy who likes playing zombie-shooting games gets attacked by the living dead. And this goes on until some priest & an executive lady in charge figure out what's going on. Then they hit the sewers and try to destroy this thing from beneath. It all turns out to be the umpteenth blue-print for yet another unworthy creature feature.

I admit, there are much worse films out there and still being made in this day and age, even for television (Sci-Fi Channel products probably is your safest bet to catch one of those). But "Something Beneath" turned out so unimaginative and uninspired, I couldn't even have much fun with it. The plot throws in a whole bunch of very different characters, and none of them really work together at any point. The make-up effects are passable. The CGI just average (and thankfully not overused). The orchestrated death sequences try to be original, but painfully lack a decent execution and are poorly crafted. No mood, no atmosphere, no tension, no scares. The final money shot of the blob creature in all its glory is present, but the damn thing doesn't do anything. Yes, it hints at something Lovecraftian or may even have you reminiscing some older, British B&W sci-fi classics, but nobody can convince me that all this served as an inspiration to the makers of "Something Beneath". And how they defeat the slimy creature this time, is simply preposterous.

I can't imagine in a million years "Something Beneath" being worth it for any serious horror fan. Perhaps Kevin Sorbo fans might watch and enjoy it, but what else would they do in their spare time anyway? So for those who decide to watch this film and happen to think it's awesome, you can go seek out Jim Wynorski's "Project Viper" (2002). It's an equally awesome movie, but this time featuring an undefined gray gooey substance from space. And if you want to take it a few steps up the quality ladder and watch an undiscovered recent masterpiece in the 'undefined organisms engulfing the earth and swallowing mankind' sub-genre, there's this one film called "Living Hell (aka Organizm)" (2008) that will probably rock your world. Enjoy!

Something Beneath is set at ecological conference at a newly built out of the way resort, ecological crusader Father Douglas Middleton (Kevin Sorbo) is organising the event & has some guy named Eugene (Rob McLaughlin) as his keynote speaker. Unfortunately Eugene turns up dead before he gets to make his speech, the death is put down to an asthma attack by a worried resort manager who wants to keep any bad publicity to a minimum. Then soon after 'it' girl Mikaela Strovsky (Brittany Scoobie) turns up with her wrist's slashed, coincidence or are the two seemingly unrelated death's connected & just what is that black slime that seems to be oozing from everywhere? Father Middleton & resort events organiser Khali Spence (Natalie Brown) try to get to the bottom of the mystery...

This Canadian production is yet another Sci-Fi Channel original but this time instead of killer mutant snakes or ants or fish or dinosaurs or aliens we get some black slime monster, directed by David Winning I thought Something Beneath tried to do something a bit different with the 'Creature Feature' blueprint but comes off just as bad as any giant animal/insect/monster/alien/resurrected dinosaur film made by the Sci-Fi Channel you care to mention. Along with the standard clichéd 'Creature Feature' angle the script has an annoyingly simplistic pro-environmental message to it that has all the subtlety of a sledge hammer, we are told in no uncertain terms that the environment must be protected & big business is the real evil monster. Yeah, yeah, seen it & heard it all before in dozens of other much better films. Something Beneath also has one of the worst endings I have ever seen, our hero Father Middleton & the token female love interest Khali (I told you it was clichéd) are stuck in an abandoned silo with the huge slime monster at the bottom & Khali hanging off a broken bridge in mortal danger. So what happens, so what do the makers decide to do to round the film off from this point? That's right they have Khali hold her homemade necklace thing, say a few words in her native language as a prayer & the slime monster then just leaves her alone & goes away. The makers of Something Beneath have the huge slime monster defeated by a woman's faith & a few words. Lame. In fact it's one of the laziest, most random & moronic endings I've ever seen in a film & doesn't stay in keeping with the rest of the film anyway since there's not been any supernatural elements to that point. The pace is poor, there are a few plot-holes like why does it take hours for Deadmarsh to be affected by the hallucinations when earlier both Eugene & Mikaela had hallucinations almost immediately?

When you get this slime on you it gets into your bloodstream & produces hallucinations revolving around your worst fears that result in your death, the idea is quite good but nothing is done with it & people have very cheap looking hallucinations like seeing things in mirrors or being chased by a dog. Dull & lacking in imagination considering the possibilities were endless. There's a really bad moment at the start when a construction worker has a bulldozer heading towards him & instead of running or simply moving to the left or right he starts to stumble backwards to try & make the scene look more menacing & to try & make it look as if he is in danger but it ends up just looking ridiculous. I am not sure if the version I saw on telly was cut or not but there's no gore & there did seem to be various awkward edits & jumpy looking scenes. The CGI slime monster at the end doesn't look too bad but it isn't great or anything, just maybe slightly better than I expected.

Shot in Winnipeg, Manitoba in Canada this has the usual average production values most of these Sci-Fi Channel monster films do, to be honest you will have totally forgotten about it within five minutes of it finishing. Kevin Sorbo is as big a name actor as the makers could afford which says everything.

Something Beneath could have been something a little bit different with it's unusual monster but in the end it still feels exactly the same as dozens of other 'Creature Features' & doesn't try to distinguish itself that much. More generic, lazy, by-the-numbers 'Creature Feature' rubbish that is instantly forgettable.

Completely absurd. Acting is terrible. The black goo wasn't very menacing. No explanation of where it came from. If it was intelligent, how come it couldn't sense that no one was intentionally trying to harm it? Hallucinations? Terrible concept! Completely lacking in tension, and interest. One of the worst I've ever seen. Thank goodness I caught it on TV and didn't pay to see this garbage. Kevin Sorbo should be ashamed of himself. I know a person needs to work to live, but he should have passed on this turkey and gotten a part time job pumping gas instead. It is a testament to today's state of film making, that proves that anyone anywhere can make a movie and have it released. Shame!

This wasn't the scary movie that I thought it would be,although the gooey effects weren't all that bad.Character-wise,Kevin Sorbo's Father Doug just didn't seem to fit in with the storyline,in my opinion.Of course it didn't help that he wasn't in that many scenes. I did like his interaction with the lady,particularly after she found out that he wasn't"that kind"of priest.To me,their chemistry is what kept my attention-nothing else in the movie did! While I didn't think the character fit in,I did like Father Doug-he was rather charming for a priest. The ending,while nice,was too predictable. I would only recommend this if you are a big fan of Kevin Sorbo.

A bubbling crude is unearthed as a developer excavates the ground where it lives for a sewer system with designs on creating a city. Currently a hotel resides where the sewer was created and this icky sentient life form begins spreading it's goo to people within it, once it touches the skin, it enters the blood stream causing the victims to hallucinate, psychologically preying on their worst fears, often resulting in death.

This creature feature has an ecological message behind it as our hero is a Episcipaleon nature loving priest(..an "environmental crusader"), played by Kevin Sorbo, attending an environmental conference at the hotel where the killer goo is moving through the pipes, causing people to lose their marbles, seeing mostly dead people(..people whom they harmed or feared in the past). Natalie Brown is Kaley Spence, the hotel administrator whose grandmother was an Ojibway(..appropriately a proud people whose spiritual believes are naturalistic regarding treatment of the earth and nature)and she wears an emblem around her neck symbolizing their beliefs. She will join forces with Sorbo's Father Douglas in their mission to uncover what it wants and how to stop it. Peter MacNeill is a "rent-a-cop", as Deadmarsh, with a checkered past(..he also has a history with Douglas) who operates security for the hotel. Brendan Beiser is kooky scientist(..and nature freak), Dr. Connoly, who is obsessed with the new life form, wishing to stop the plans behind further disturbing the creature's home, through the building of a new city where it resides.

The message the filmmakers wish to convey comes off rather silly considering how the creature looks and how it's able to strike back at humankind for it's greed and avarice. The cast, to their credit, give it everything they have, straight-faced and convincing, under the circumstances of the wonky premise. I like Sorbo, believing he has the looks, build, character, personality, and charisma(..I was particularly fond of his Hercules series as a teenager)as a bona-fide heroic lead, but he seems to wind up in crap like this all the time..he deserves better, I believe. He's been successful on sci-fi / fantasy television series, but in junk like this, even Sorbo has a tough time rising above the excremental material. I thought the lovely Brown was also quite good, but she's saddled with the "agnostic who comes to accept her heritage" role, once the the goo-monster threatens her life at the end. Whenever the black goo is about to appear, the filmmakers establish it's presence through the rattling sound of the cicadas. I found the idea that this goo could just land on the skin and immediately cause those it contacts to hallucinate rather hard to swallow. Of course, the evil land developer, with his goals for progress, by causing the land he chooses to disrupt(..with harm to animals such as squirrels and field mice)possible harm, MUST be punished. I guess the eco-nuts might enjoy this hogwash.

A ooze kills people by making hallucinations!? what was the director thinking! For one thing: most of the movie you can't tell whether or not they're hallucinating or in real life. also, The characters couldn't have been dumber. You think the entire cast dropped of school before they were ever allowed too. The priest guy (Kevin Sorbo) acts nothing like a priest. and who the hell is scared of zombies!? If you know they're fake, you shouldn't be scared of them. And the opening scene made no sense, the opening scene is meant to clarify what the main character is dealing with. From the opening scene, you'd think it's a gayer version of final destination! The only thing that could have made this movie even lamer is if the hotel was destroyed. Also, the whole movie was just one big plot line. Everyone had a plot line, if you were a dog, you got a plot line, if you were the director, you had a plot line, if you were a single finger, you had a plot line. Besides the ridiculous amount of plot lines, you have no idea what it is until you finally see the thing, and even then you have no clue what they're dealing with. Also, the climax is meant to be the highest point of interest, not something that makes less sense than the revelation. And the way the fanatic dude died was the most pathetic excuse for a death ever. Also, the priest guy made worse decisions than any person in a movie has ever made. And also, the falling action was absolutely pointless. You're better off watching sesame street than watching this movie. also, the deaths were more retarded than any death I've ever seen. Everyone said the loser guy died of asthma, he got sucked into the ground!If you're going to see this movie, it's no skin off my back. But if you want to take my advice, save your money. It's better if you're not even paying attention. Just jump into a pool and sing what a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong. At least that makes more sense than something beneath.

I don't think I have seen anything quite like this film (No guys, that's not a compliment). There may have been strange goings on at the resort, but you may not even notice them over the terrible acting, abysmal script and sophomoric attempt at film-making.

Apparently, dirty motor oil has had enough of the human scourge traipsing all over "her" home and has decided to evict humanity from the resort hotel she's been living/hiding under, by dripping on us and making hallucinate our worst fears so we kill ourselves...or something like that. There is never a reason given for the existence of the creature/evil motor oil, only that apparently, you can pray it away? Or something like that.

And a shout out to the dirty, crazy scientist guy living in the mine. Not that there was a reason to introduce this character, or why he was depicted the way he was (Think Christopher Lloyd's Doc Brown. Now think of someone with zero acting ability playing Doc Brown badly. There you have it for this character. In two words: Incredibly annoying. Or something like that.

In summation, no matter what ever else you choose to do with 90 minutes of your life, it will leave you more satisfied with yourself than if you had sat down and watched this ridiculous mess of an idea gone horribly wrong on film.

Each time I see a Sci-Fi Original TV movie in the listings I groan. That's because I know I have to watch it, not because I want to, but because the irritating sense of completeness I have pushes me to see all the films they show. Perhaps it's because watching these Z-flicks helps me appreciate other B-movies better. Whatever the cause, I'm a glutton for punishment and SOMETHING BENEATH is another disappointing rip-off in a long line of them.

The story is about some kind of black oil that spills out of the earth and causes people who touch it to have hallucinations in which they witness their worst fears. Therefore a young Paris Hilton-alike witnesses herself as an old hag in the mirror and commits suicide as a result. Another guy who's seen too many horror movies thinks that some cheesy zombies are shambling after him. It's all so predictable, and to be honest, vapid. There's no sense of pace or dread here and the black goo stuff seems to have been stolen from a sub-plot of THE X-FILES. The characters wander around, some die, some live, and you don't care about a single one of them.

The film does win a couple of points at the beginning, as some workmen are killed in slasher-movie ways. But then we're stuck in the doldrums for an hour before things culminate with a sub-Lovecraft monster rising out of the depths. Poor CGI is a given with these movies, but the plot, which can't decide whether it wants to be serious or whether it wants to be a spoof, is absolutely foul. Kevin Sorbo, he of HERCULES: THE LEGENDARY JOURNEYS fame, is the actor getting dragged through the mud here, although the worst actor of all is Brendan Beiser as the utterly irritating 'professor' helping to track down the creature. At least Natalie Brown, as the heroine, is pretty, although that's not enough to make this mess entertaining. SOMETHING BENEATH is bottom-of-the-barrel trash with no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

Other than the laughable monster finally revealed at the end (the goo it spat was more menacing) and the irksome character Mikaela-- so obvious Paris Hilton rip-off or was this character a satire? Either way she was worse than the monster or its parts to look at.

I put this next to Chupacabra (sp) Terror in my liking it. I've seen far worse Sci-Fi movies and it didn't try all that much to pass it self as based on true science.

A former Episcopalian, I like the way the script handled the priest. I was ready to hit the channel surfing if I saw one sex scene between him and the love interest. Refreshingly, I saw no stupid sex scene anywhere in this flick and the people looked rather normal.