Dean Leslie Etwood: Is this a joke? Because if this is a joke I'm still stuck in the setup. Which as you may recall involved you panicking and sputtering your way out of a one day seminar, with a case of the dry-heaves, leaving an entire lecture hall in the lurch. And now you want me to give you your own class?
Nick Garrett: Just, a little class. A nice, little graduate writing class.
Dean Leslie Etwood: What makes you think you can actually teach? And please don't tell me it's because you wrote a popular novel.
Nick Garrett: No, no. But... the journey, getting there, the journey which those students wish to embark upon, I can share my experience.
Dean Leslie Etwood: Then let's talk about that journey.
Nick Garrett: Let's talk about it.
Dean Leslie Etwood: The um, epic struggle of a coward who left his home, wrote a book about the friends and family that he abandoned, for reasons unknown, and now is afraid to face his own life.
Nick Garrett: Wow. I think you're leaving out the part where I burned down the orphanage and drunk-dialed the pope.
Dean Leslie Etwood: A teacher by nature is a leader. And a leader is someone who embraces their life. Not one who runs away from it. In other words, Mr. Garrett, my students have nothing to learn from you.