- Robert Miller: Hab SoslI Quch!
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: What'd he say?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Um, boss, he said your grandmother has a smooth forehead. It's a Klingon insult.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: You speak Klingon?
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Not fluently, but yes.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: "The sky is blue, the grass is green, may we have our Halloween?" That was how we used to say "Trick or treat" in Scotland.
- Sarah Niles: [as he gives her some candy] Thank you.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: You're very welcome, Your Highness.
- Ziva David: [the M.E. van pulls up with its windshield splattered with eggs] What happened to them?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Halloween.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Sorry we're late, only we had a minor run-in with some local youths.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Yeah. I can see that, Doctor.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Did you get a good look at them?
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Oh, we did better than that. Release the captives, Mr. Palmer!
- Ninja #1: [dazed] What? Are we in trouble?
- Ninja #2: Where are we at?
- Ninja #1: [annoyed] We said we were sorry.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: [handing them Windex and paper towels] Right. Clean it!
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Nice work, Palmer.
- Jimmy Palmer: Oh, it wasn't me, Tony. Dr. Mallard chased them for three blocks.
- Dr. Donald 'Ducky' Mallard: Oh, please. It's not that impressive. It's not as if they were real ninjas.
- Abby Sciuto: [dressed as Marilyn Monroe with McGee and DiNozzo staring at her] Why are you guys looking at me like that? Do I have food in my teeth or something?
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [recovers somewhat, McGee does not] I'm just gonna stick with "or something."
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: So, Laurie, why did your husband move out of your house and onto base?
- Laurie Niles: What does that have to do with this?
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Maybe nothing. But I need to know.
- Laurie Niles: We were having some problems. Erik wanted a trial separation.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Why?
- Laurie Niles: I made a mistake. A stupid mistake eight years ago.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: What kind of mistake?
- [Laurie doesn't answer]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Laurie, look. I've been married four times. I've made every mistake in the book.
- [the NCIS team storms into a room, which turns out to have a Halloween party in progress]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Federal agents!
- Guy at Halloween Party: Hey guys! Great costumes, except you spelled CSI wrong on your hats.
- [Ziva tries on the hat from McGee's Halloween costume, while DiNozzo tries on the gloves]
- Ziva David: I instantly felt all the respect leave my body as soon as I put this on.
- [after the dead John Doe is identified]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: I want to know everything about this guy, from birth until Ducky cracked his sternum.
- [DiNozzo and McGee are still staring at Abby, so Gibbs head-slaps both of them]
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Yeah, "on it, Boss!"
- Special Agent Timothy McGee, Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Right.
- Ziva David: Our staff sergeant moved into the Quantico Bachelor Enlisted Quarters three weeks ago.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Martial problems?
- Ziva David: Well, according to someone called "Scuttle Butt", he caught his wife cheating on him.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: Scuttlebutt's not a person, Ziva. Scuttlebutt is what Marines call gossip.
- Ziva David: And then you wonder why I have a problem with your language.
- Ziva David: The boy saw a car leaving the scene that looked like a Karuma. I'm not familiar with the model.
- Special Agent Jethro Gibbs: "Karuma" is Japanese for "car," Ziva.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Your description of the car is "car." Nice work, Officer David.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Karuma's the name of a car in Grand Theft Auto III. It's a Chrysler Sebring sedan.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: McGeek with the save!
- Abby Sciuto: McGee, can you invert the image... as soon as you're done undressing me with your eyes.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Basement's clear, Boss.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Look, I know what I saw. Someone policed the brass, tried to wipe up the blood.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Who, Probie, the crime scene fairies? There's no one here.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [jumps] Whoa! Something just touched my foot... something's under the couch.
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: Well, maybe it's the crime scene fairy, Tony.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: Shush!
- [crouches down to look under the couch; whispering to myself]
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: I *hate* Halloween...
- Special Agent Timothy McGee: [taking pictures of the dead man dressed in a skeleton costume] Well, that's not creepy.
- Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo: [to a bystander who is dressed as a zombie; the bystander starts to "zombie shuffle" over to another crime scene when Tony stops him] Don't be a wise guy!