Scrubs (TV Series)

His Story IV (2007)

Ken Jenkins: Dr. Bob Kelso

Photos 

Quotes 

• J.D. : Hey, Dr. Kelso.

  [gives him a pat on the back] 

  Dr. Kelso : [thinking]  I actually don't mind that goofy bastard. If he were gay, he'd be perfect for my son. Harrison has been looking for a new power bottom. All my little worker bees, buzzing about... buzzzz... buzzz... I love making that sound... buzzz. Dr. Reid. Ever since she quit the hospital for private practice, you pretended she's invisible. So don't break stride.

  [walks straight past Elliot, bumping her on the shoulder deliberately and making all her files scatter across the floor] 

  Dr. Kelso : KERBLAMO!

  Elliot : HEY!

  Dr. Kelso : Skiddle-ee-dee, skiddle-ee-doo.

• J.D. : [thinking about Dr. Kelso]  I always wondered what he did in his office all day.

  [flash to fantasy of Kelso in his office with Ted] 

  Dr. Kelso : Human Magic 8-Ball, tell me if I should play golf this weekend?

  [He shakes Ted's head like a Magic 8-ball] 

  Ted Buckland : I am a lawyer!

  Dr. Kelso : I said, should I play golf?

  [Kelso shakes Ted's head again] 

  Ted Buckland : Ask again later!... Why would I say that?

  [Kelso shakes his head again] 

  Ted Buckland : [flash back to J.D] 

  J.D. : [thinking]  My daydreams are crazy!

  Ted Buckland : Oh, dizzy!

  [he collapses against a rack of medical supplies, knocking it over] 

• Dr. Kelso : Listen up, faces. In order to save us all some time, I will call all the males "Daves" and all the females "Debbies".

  Debbie : Debbie is actually my name.

  Dr. Kelso : Then, out of fairness to the others, you will be Slagathor. Daves, Debbies, Slagathor: I will be in my office. If you need anything, feel free to bother Dorian.