ER (TV Series)

Tell Me No Secrets... (2006)

Scott Grimes: Archie Morris

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dr. Dustin Crenshaw : The human shish-kebab will be fine, no thanks to that incredibly imbecilic stunt of yours.

  Dr. Archie Morris : Hey, how were we supposed to know the handle would break off?

  Dr. Dustin Crenshaw : Okay, all right, Just for fun, let's pretend that you each had even a modicum of gray matter that you somehow managed to fashion into some crude, rudimentary semblance of a brain. You would know that you never pull out something near a vital structure unless you're in the OR.

  Hope Bobeck : We remove foreign bodies all the time in the ER.

  Dr. Dustin Crenshaw : Pulling a vibrator out of someone's ass? Not the same thing.

  Dr. Archie Morris : Hey, hey, Dr. Bobek acted under my supervision and my orders.

  Dr. Dustin Crenshaw : Perfect! You've got the half-wit leading the dimwit.

  Dr. Archie Morris : Look, you obnoxious boor! The ER works damn hard for every patient we see. We acted in this guy's best interest, when no one, not even Surgery, would give him the time of day! Now, did we do something that didn't work? Yes. Fine. It happens sometimes. I will take full responsibility. But at least we got off of our asses and tried to help!

  Dr. Dustin Crenshaw : Oh, well, gold stars for the ER asses!

  Dr. Archie Morris : Hey! What is it about your need to belittle other people? Does insulting someone make you feel like a man? Bolster what little self-esteem you're clinging to? Wow, you know, I can't even begin to imagine what happened in your life, to make you the kind of person that everybody hates.

  Dr. Dustin Crenshaw : [drops clipboard as he turns to walk away] 

  Hope Bobeck : I could kiss you right now.

  Dr. Archie Morris : Really?

  Hope Bobeck : Hmm. Now it's gone.

• Dr. Archie Morris : Hope, would you drive a Lamborghini to a Laundromat? Hitch Seabiscuit to a plow? Have Eddie Van Halen play air guitar? I'm Dr. Morris. I don't do migraines!