There's NOTHING WORSE than someone who THINKS they're funny, and they're simply NOT.
Stuttering John Melendez embodies that.
He's only famous because Howard Stern exploited him, and wrote him funny questions to embarrass celebrities with.
This celluloid abortion is almost impossible to get through, and there's not a SINGLE LAUGH throughout it. Shame on Jeffrey Ross for lowering himself to appear in this piece of crap.
17 Reviews
Appalling failed vanity project
CashBailey5 April 2022
It's clear that Stuttering John Melendez thought this witless, narcissistic mess of a movie was going to make him the next Adam Sandler.
Melendez is built like a fire hydrant and has the charm of road kill, yet in this he is a lady-killing lothario battling with his limitless power to bed any woman he sees. The only sexual challenge he has yet to attain is... a threesome!
That's all you need to know about the 'plot' of this. Shot like a high-budget student film, its only technical merits are that it is audible and in focus.
Co-star Bellamy Young is charming and certainly deserves much better. Comedian and roasting legend Jeff Ross appears to be doing Melendez a favour by appearing in this, a role apparently written for Melendez's former Stern cohort Artie Lange.
Of all the garbage National Lampoon slapped their name on in the '00s it's hard to imagine anything worse than this.
Melendez is built like a fire hydrant and has the charm of road kill, yet in this he is a lady-killing lothario battling with his limitless power to bed any woman he sees. The only sexual challenge he has yet to attain is... a threesome!
That's all you need to know about the 'plot' of this. Shot like a high-budget student film, its only technical merits are that it is audible and in focus.
Co-star Bellamy Young is charming and certainly deserves much better. Comedian and roasting legend Jeff Ross appears to be doing Melendez a favour by appearing in this, a role apparently written for Melendez's former Stern cohort Artie Lange.
Of all the garbage National Lampoon slapped their name on in the '00s it's hard to imagine anything worse than this.
Plan 9 is a better movie.
weezercoke10 October 2019
Stuttering John has nothing to offer
redcard-19 September 2022
Unfortunately Stuttering John isn't a writer, an actor or a comedian. He pretends he is, but he has never achieved anything in any of these fields. He has no stand-up career, and his routine is non-existent - it consists of asking the audience where they're from / if they're married / if they still have sex, and then he will go on to tell you how he did something funny 20 years ago. It's not good. There's no actual comedy.
Anyway, that sums up this film quite nicely - there's no actual comedy. John plays a version of himself - a loser 30something with no endearing qualities whatsoever. John is now almost 60 years old and is still playing the same character - an overweight drunk with poor hygiene, no jokes and no audience, who spends his time pursuing younger women on dating sites, as well as creeping on female guests he has on his awful podcast. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
What makes this movie so bad is that John just isn't a likeable personality, either in real life, or in Hollywood. Instead of embarrassing celebrities like he used to, he now spends his life embarrassing himself and his ex-family.
Anyway, that sums up this film quite nicely - there's no actual comedy. John plays a version of himself - a loser 30something with no endearing qualities whatsoever. John is now almost 60 years old and is still playing the same character - an overweight drunk with poor hygiene, no jokes and no audience, who spends his time pursuing younger women on dating sites, as well as creeping on female guests he has on his awful podcast. The more things change, the more they stay the same.
What makes this movie so bad is that John just isn't a likeable personality, either in real life, or in Hollywood. Instead of embarrassing celebrities like he used to, he now spends his life embarrassing himself and his ex-family.
Crap Crap & more Crap
exmobguy-318316 February 2020
Rubbish
rkowna27 January 2022
This is so bad at first I thought it was a triumph of the satire genre, performance art of the highest quality. No such luck, Johnny Melenderp, the writer and "star", wasn't joking when he put this dreck out. Despite the talents of Bellamy Young and Jeffery Ross, and a solid cameo from Jm J Bullock, this movie makes the Spanish Flu seem fun. John Melenderp's writing is awful, most 15 year old boys didn't laugh at the cheap bathroom humor. And the plot? One minute we see our hero, I mean ZERO, dressed like a clown, the next minute he is in a fake version of Tony and Tina's wedding. I have had better times with my anal fissure.
Worst movie Ever
dellauto13 August 2008
Worst Movie Ever. I was duped into watching this movie by seeing the National Lampoon logo and was extremely disappointed . The movie has nothing to interest the viewer, the comedy is sparse and even the sex scenes, if you can call them that are poor This should never be associated with National Lampoon. National Lampoon ( Chevy Chase and all )have always made movies with laughs galore. This may have the odd farting/toilet joke but that's about it. The plot is very thin ,the actors poor and it seems to go on forever. I am embarrassed to have bought this movie, I hope no -one finds out. Avoid at all costs unless you want to see how low American Comedy can go! All other movies can be measured by this movie -I doubt if anything could be worse. Utter rubbish!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Painful experience.
Roflington3 March 2020
Worst attempt of comedy I've ever watched.
the-tegg23 August 2009
Without a doubt the worst attempt of comedy I have ever watched. I enjoy B Movies, cheesy films, and low budget productions, this is the first time I watch a movie and I can't find a single minute of it worth watching.
If you're considering watching this movie, walk away and don't look back, take a nap, browse the web, or find any other movie to watch, but don't watch this movie.
This movie has really changed my opinion of National Lampoon, I have no idea how they allowed their brand to go on this production.
This movie makes me wish IMDb allowed a zero rating.
If you're considering watching this movie, walk away and don't look back, take a nap, browse the web, or find any other movie to watch, but don't watch this movie.
This movie has really changed my opinion of National Lampoon, I have no idea how they allowed their brand to go on this production.
This movie makes me wish IMDb allowed a zero rating.
Heavy use of the F*g word
adammcgowen7 August 2022
I'm all for edgy humor, but this is just being crass because there seem to be no other redeeming writing skills. It's not even bad enough to become a cult classic. National Lampoon should be ashamed to have their brand on this.
Avoid like the plague
leo_otis21 July 2022
What is this?
bbonacci-127 April 2008
After watching this movie (I made the mistake of falling for the National Lampoon branding), I rushed to this site to warn people. I started reading the reviews and it seems like the "lead" of this movie apparently is "somebody???" One of the reasons I came to this site was to try and figure out how this movie was even made and why they had some no-name "actor" in the starring role. From what I am reading here, it seems like this guy has some sort of recognition for something. AND he wrote the movie too???!!?!!?! Who the hell is this guy? Is he somebody's son or from some rich family? He must have money to waste because I can't imagine that National Lampoon let him do this movie without him paying them to use the name. Run, don't walk, away from the movie.......
Noway this is even "a bit nice" movie
poirot_2019 April 2008
Warning: Spoilers
I laugh most of the time when I watch Comedy. I even laugh when I watch silly cartoons..
When I watched this movie, I got freaked out that I thought I might have something wrong with me psychologically. You know why?
It's the first time I watch something comedian (or should I say supposed to be comedian) and find out that I didn't give up even one "smile" during the movie!!
Turns out it was the movie.. It sucked.. So bad..
the movie is actually, in my own perspective, a group of the worst actors forming a small Jewish community who were seeking the chance to make fun of their religion and encourage their people to break the rules of religion so they would look cool like everybody else from other religious groups.
Acting was bad, not only bad. It was a huge failure for the producers and an awful shame for Hollywood, but it doesn't stop in here. It was a tricky way to rob the poor us audiences' money.. It is exactly the same situation that happened to Thomas when he got that hooker to share bed with him and his girlfriend..
Oh speaking of the girlfriend, I lost my respect for Bellamy Young after I watched this movie. Her character is so ridiculous and silly that she laughs at anything even if it was just Tom mentioning her name..
John Melendez was trying his best to reach the level of convincing the audience that he is the funniest clown in town and you know what? The only two who laughed at his super dull jokes were himself and Bellamy who laughs at everything as I mentioned..
Well, to be fair it's not John's fault. It's the writer's fault.. He is the one who sucked and he should have been writing scripts for Barney or the Teletubbies.. not this!
Except that John himself is the writer too..
John Melendez.. you suck!
you wrote a movie with a stupid sequence of events that makes the one who is watching it wants to go to a mental health center... but after calling 911 so they can come and arrest him for beating the guy, who recommended the movie to him, to death.
The ending was the major kick in the ball. It makes you wanna shoot everyone you know in the show business on the head.. Even Opra (yeah girls, it is really this bad)!!!!
just take this advice and you'll thank me for it when the right time comes:
Life is short to be wasted on watching this movie, calling 911, beating a poor guy who is not more than a simple minded victim, and spending the rest of your life in a mental health center under focused supervision... Do not watch this movie!
When I watched this movie, I got freaked out that I thought I might have something wrong with me psychologically. You know why?
It's the first time I watch something comedian (or should I say supposed to be comedian) and find out that I didn't give up even one "smile" during the movie!!
Turns out it was the movie.. It sucked.. So bad..
the movie is actually, in my own perspective, a group of the worst actors forming a small Jewish community who were seeking the chance to make fun of their religion and encourage their people to break the rules of religion so they would look cool like everybody else from other religious groups.
Acting was bad, not only bad. It was a huge failure for the producers and an awful shame for Hollywood, but it doesn't stop in here. It was a tricky way to rob the poor us audiences' money.. It is exactly the same situation that happened to Thomas when he got that hooker to share bed with him and his girlfriend..
Oh speaking of the girlfriend, I lost my respect for Bellamy Young after I watched this movie. Her character is so ridiculous and silly that she laughs at anything even if it was just Tom mentioning her name..
John Melendez was trying his best to reach the level of convincing the audience that he is the funniest clown in town and you know what? The only two who laughed at his super dull jokes were himself and Bellamy who laughs at everything as I mentioned..
Well, to be fair it's not John's fault. It's the writer's fault.. He is the one who sucked and he should have been writing scripts for Barney or the Teletubbies.. not this!
Except that John himself is the writer too..
John Melendez.. you suck!
you wrote a movie with a stupid sequence of events that makes the one who is watching it wants to go to a mental health center... but after calling 911 so they can come and arrest him for beating the guy, who recommended the movie to him, to death.
The ending was the major kick in the ball. It makes you wanna shoot everyone you know in the show business on the head.. Even Opra (yeah girls, it is really this bad)!!!!
just take this advice and you'll thank me for it when the right time comes:
Life is short to be wasted on watching this movie, calling 911, beating a poor guy who is not more than a simple minded victim, and spending the rest of your life in a mental health center under focused supervision... Do not watch this movie!
Yuk!
dateeleven27 March 2009
That is the worst movie i've ever seen, No one knows how to act in this movie. i gave it 1 because there's no 0 in the rating list. I was waiting all over the movie for anything interesting or.. Funny. The main actor is not funny, really.. All the show is AWFUL.. I don't believe how i've watched it. I'll give an advice for anyone didn't see it.. (Don't watch this movie).. It's nicer 2 spend 88 minutes doing anything, anything, anything.. but watching this awful movie.. Everything in this title makes you say YUK.. from the talking to the acting during the cast and the story.. Actullay there isn't a story.. The whole movie is about a stupid ugly man who likes to sleep with girls then meets 2 girls and sleeps with them then leave him.. and he find another..Haahahah. No nice jokes, faces, actresses, conversation.. So... Don't watch that movie because it's the worst ever
Better than Nyquil
t_webb12 May 2023
Turns out John can't act OR direct - this movie is horrible. John thinks he's a movie star, so he casted women that were 100% out of his league for this movie. The acting is beyond horrible and check out the backgrounds throughout the movie - there are hanging curtains everywhere. Obviously shot in someone's basement - every scene has curtains. BTW, this is hardly a "comedy" and Jeffrey Ross should be ashamed he participated. And how much you want to bet that Ross did this as a favor and never got paid?
So, if you're looking for something to put you to sleep very quickly - this is your movie.
So, if you're looking for something to put you to sleep very quickly - this is your movie.
Steaming Pile of Trash
poolis28 December 2023
Pathetic Stuttering Buffoon Melonhead should've stuck with waxing Howard Stern's backside, trimming his nostril hair & clipping his toenails instead of exposing himself as the completely no-talent hack that he is with this unwatchable garbage. This abomination is so horrid that it makes an all time stinker like "Jack & Jill" look like "Citizen Kane" in comparison. The combination of atrocious writing, putrid acting, poor directing & sloppy editing is enough to make anyone sick to their stomach. Do yourself a favor & go watch paint dry or moss grow instead of watching this total unentertaining putz-fest.
I liked it. Really good for a 1st timer. Writer too.
john-491414 August 2011
Well worth it, IF you can get the plot! And see past the Plot too. LOL
Love unknown Actors! Never know what one will see. Often it takes years to become a star... I would watch out for John to appear in many more films...
I have seen a lot of independent movies, while I will not say this is the very best, I liked it a lot. Well written script and solid Acting, yet it is what it is... A story that is deep 'downtown NYC' (or any other town) life. Bar Scene is real, without a lot of unnecessary music. and the other Actors are great. Played the parts
Don't give up on John Melendez; Actor & Writer. He will do much more and better Movies soon.
Love unknown Actors! Never know what one will see. Often it takes years to become a star... I would watch out for John to appear in many more films...
I have seen a lot of independent movies, while I will not say this is the very best, I liked it a lot. Well written script and solid Acting, yet it is what it is... A story that is deep 'downtown NYC' (or any other town) life. Bar Scene is real, without a lot of unnecessary music. and the other Actors are great. Played the parts
Don't give up on John Melendez; Actor & Writer. He will do much more and better Movies soon.
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