- [first lines]
- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] The history of baseball is filled with so many myths and legends that sometimes you wonder what the real stories are. Of course, sometimes a simple story can take on a life of its own.
- Mike Callahan: Uh, did Brendan put a baby in your stomach?
- P.J. Franklin: Uh-huh. She lives with my mother.
- Andy Franklin: That's who that little girl is, the one in the rock shirts with the five o'clock shadow.
- Brendan Dorff: Please forget about this.
- P.J. Franklin: Which part, the part you remember or the part you forget?
- Brendan Dorff: The part that I remember, because the part that I forget is the part that YOU remember, which shouldn't even BE a part to remember, which is why it's a part that I forget.
- P.J. Franklin: [recreating an incident in her and Brendan's past] Bobby, you be me. I'll be Brendan. Okay?
- Bobby Newman: What's my motivation?
- P.J. Franklin: Um, you are sitting in the library with Stephanie, pretending to study, maybe even a little excited to see him again.
- Bobby Newman: Okay.
- P.J. Franklin: You're going to say, "Hi, Brendo."
- Kenny Morittori: I love live theater.
- Andy Franklin: These are great seats.
- Kenny Morittori: It's kind of fun to think of Brendo being a total dick.
- P.J. Franklin: Thank you.
- Mike Callahan: It's also fun to think that PJ made the whole thing up and is therefore pitch-a-tent-on-your-front-lawn crazy.
- Brendan Dorff: Thank you.
- Bobby Newman: Both tempting choices. I'm torn.
- Andy Franklin: [leaving the poker game early] Well, I gotta go. Meredith wants me to come home and help her shellac a jigsaw puzzle. Unfortunately, that's not a euphemism.
- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] Myths have a tendency to distort the truth, and sometimes you're left to ask, "What's really going on?"
- P.J. Franklin: You know it's a funny thing about your wife, Andy. It turns out she does NOT feast on human flesh.
- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] Myths make for nice stories, but at some point you can't blame curses or goats. You have to take responsibility for your own action.
- P.J. Franklin: [voiceover] The thing about baseball myths is this: whether they're true or not, they sell the game of baseball; however, the real story, the truth beneath the myth, is just as important.