How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Brunch (2006)

Jason Segel: Marshall Eriksen

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney Stinson : No one is turned on by a man's calves! They're a completely unerotic body part.

  Marshall Eriksen : Well, yeah, I'd say that, too, if I had those skinny little chicken legs.

  Barney Stinson : I'll be waiting by the phone for your apology.

• Marshall Eriksen : [after Lily wears a provocative dress to dinner]  Lily is EVIL! She just wore that dress to torture me. Well you know what? Two can play at that game. See at brunch, I'm going to torture Lily right back. Yeah, there's a part of my body that she's got a weakness for too.

  Barney Stinson : Dude, you can't whip that out at brunch.

• Lily Aldrin : Just admit it, you came here to try and seduce me.

  Marshall Eriksen : Seduce you? You seduced *me*!

  Lily Aldrin : You sat down next to me and took most of your pants off!

  Marshall Eriksen : You went to San Fransisco for three months!

  Lily Aldrin : How is that seducing you?

  Marshall Eriksen : Well it's not, but I'm still mad about it!

• Lily Aldrin : Why did you have to throw your magnificent calves at me? You know you have a punter's leg.

  Marshall Eriksen : Well, why did you have to throw your beautiful boobs at me? You know you have... boobs.

• Narrator : Kids, you know that photo in the den? It was taken back in 2006 when grandma and grandpa came to visit me, and we all went out to brunch. We all look pretty happy right? Wrong.

  Lily Aldrin : [Cut to brunch]  I wish your face would melt off.

  Marshall Eriksen : I wish your eyeballs would explode.

  Lily Aldrin : I hate you.

  Marshall Eriksen : I hate you more.

  Ted : [Cut to Ted and Barney's area of the table]  I'm gonna kill him

  Barney Stinson : I can't say I blame you.

  Ted : No, I'm *seriously* gonna kill him.

  Robin Scherbatsky : [Now to Robin and Ted' mom]  I don't care how unpleasant it is, you have to talk to him!

  Virginia Mosby : Not now!

  Robin Scherbatsky : Okay, if you won't, I will

  [Tries to stand up and accidentally knocks a tray out a a waitress' hand] 

  Narrator : Okay, for any of this to make sense, you gotta understand there are three parts to this story...