- Alan Shore: Shirley, the truth is I only took this case to be in court with you. I enjoy your company. So, if I can't join you on cases, I'll just have to oppose you. Or I could just oppose you right now against the wall. That would certainly make me happy.
- Denny Crane: Bethany, Brad'll be your point-man here, if you need anything go to him. If you're not satisfied... you come to me.
- Judge Willard Reese: In my chambers.
- Judge Willard Reese: [Alan gets up] Just Ms. Schmidt and Mr. Tiggs.
- Alan Shore: Couldn't I come and just watch?
- Judge Willard Reese: [glaring at Alan menacingly] No.
- Denny Crane: A meeting? Would I have to talk?
- Bethany Horowitz: You're much more impressive when you don't.
- Shirley Schmidt: Your Honor, Mr. Tiggs has a history of ruining women's lives. There's one out there right now. It's going to take her years to get over this.
- Ivan Tiggs: No, she'll get over me, she's like a goldfish. She has a three second memory.