How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Aldrin Justice (2006)

Bryan Cranston: Hammond Druthers

Photos 

Quotes 

• Hammond Druthers : [about the model trees Ted made]  Too green.

  Ted Mosby : Too green?

  Hammond Druthers : I want them to be more of a natural brown color. Almost a brunette. Also, they need to be bushier.

  Ted Mosby : Bushier?

  Hammond Druthers : I want this tower to emerge from a thicket of unkempt brunette shrubbery. Can you picture it, Ted?

  Ted Mosby : I can't unpicture it.

• Narrator : Our client was a major bank and financial services company in Spokane. They wanted a modern skyscraper that still captured the distinct flavor and history of the northwest.

  Hammond Druthers : Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Spokane national bank building.

  [Shows the model] 

  Bank President : That's a penis!

  Hammond Druthers : That's... that's ridiculous. There's no way this majestic tower can be confused with the male organ of love.

  Bank President : We're not building a penis. You got any other ideas?

  Hammond Druthers : Other ideas? You said you wanted Hammond Druthers. This is Hammond Druthers.

  Bank President : [Looks at the building]  Well, hats off to your ladyfriends, but I'm not building it.

• Ted Mosby : Lily, this is Mr. Druthers, the head architect on the project. Lily's going to be our new office assistant.

  Hammond Druthers : Ah.

  Lily Aldrin : Nice to meet you.

  Hammond Druthers : Isn't it?

• Hammond Druthers : Now, as most of you know, my Pete Rose, Pete Rose, Pete Rose baseball has been stolen. Well, I just found this note.

  [Reads] 

  Hammond Druthers : "Dear Mr. Druthers,I, your baseball, am leaving. Maybe, if you start being nice, I'll come back. If not, other things in your office may follow my lead. In fact, I overheard your iPod talking, and he may shuffle off at any minute." Normally, I would scream at everyone until my voice goes, but maybe that's the wrong reaction here.

  Lily Aldrin : [to Ted]  Interesting

  Hammond Druthers : Instead, I'm giving my baseball until the end of the day to decide he's homesick, or, tomorrow morning, I'll begin firing three people an hour. And, if the thief doesn't believe me, well, then you are gambling more than Pete Rose - major league baseball's all-time hit leader, a man whose absence from the hall of fame is a travesty to the entire sports world - ever "allegedly" did!