Metalocalypse (TV Series)

Dethfam (2006)

Tommy Blacha: Toki Wartooth, William Murderface, Stella Murderface

Quotes 

• Stella Murderface : [Murderface buys his grandfather a new electric wheelchair; his grandmother is ecstatic]  Oh, William, you're going to go to heaven for this!

  William Murderface : I'd rather die than go to heaven.

• Pickles the Drummer : [the band has agreed to meet in the bathroom of a restaurant; they are debating what to do about their intrusive families. Pickles storms through the door as Murderface is urinating]  I'm gonna lose my mind, my parents just brag and brag about my brother! "Oh, he's in a room above the garage!" BIG DEAL! He's an ex-con!

  [he takes several puffs of an asthma inhaler] 

  Pickles the Drummer : I haven't used of these things for fifteen years.

  Nathan Explosion : [Nathan and Skwisgaar burst in]  WHAT THE FUCK!

  Skwisgaar Skwigelf : This whole thing gives me a case of my stomachs throw up!

  William Murderface : What're you worried about? Your mom seems cool.

  Skwisgaar Skwigelf : She was the most pros-kwim-in-ous. Womens in Swedens has sex with everybody. Pfft! Thanks, Mom!

  Nathan Explosion : The fact that my parents had sex in order to create me makes me want to be buried alive.

  William Murderface : My grandma has an odor that's so very wrong, and she wants me to buy that bastard a wheelchair; she won't shut up about it!

  Pickles the Drummer : Why do we make it so hard on ourselves? We'll just solve it like any other problem.

  William Murderface : Of course! We have them put to sleep!

  Pickles the Drummer : No, we lie! We'll lie through our teeth and throw money at 'em. Buy that bastard a wheelchair; we'll take 'em miniature golfing or whatever the fuck people do. We'll pretend we're "interested" in what they're askin', and when that weekend's over... we'll ship 'em outta here, never to be seen again. Deal?

  William Murderface : Okay.

• Nick Ibsen : We're back with arguably the greatest entertainment force in the history of the world, Dethklok. Gentlemen... you are the twelfth-largest economy in the world and climbing... and yet you all are *intensely* private. Little is known about your personal lives. Why...

  Nathan Explosion : [cutting him off]  Because.

  Nick Ibsen : [pause]  Well, we at "The Nick Ibsen Show" do pride ourselves on uncovering... the m -

  [he is interrupted again by Murderface slamming his knife into the table] 

  William Murderface : Hey, douchebag! Why don't you drill a hole in your forehead and let all the sap run out?

  Skwisgaar Skwigelf : Huh-huh, for pancakes.

  Nick Ibsen : As intimidating as it is to interview such amazing entertainment figures, I nonetheless have a journalistic duty to uncover...

  [a fly is heard unzipping, followed by a stream of urine hitting the floor] 

  Nick Ibsen : ... certain, uh... are you urinating on my shoes?

  William Murderface : [pause]  Yes, I am.

• Stella Murderface : Oh William, you're going to go heaven for this!

  William Murderface : I'd rather die than go to heaven.