Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist (TV Series)

Babysitting Ben (1998)

Jonathan Katz: Dr. Katz

Quotes 

• Brian : So I've been stayin' with some friends, which is, uh...

  Dr. Katz : Yeah?

  Brian : ...Which is nice, y'know, but I don't know why people assume you don't want to stay in a hotel. Y'know? That kills me. "Aw, you don't want to stay in a nice hotel, you want to say with us and be uncomfortable for three days." "I, I don't mind. I don't mind stayin' in a hotel." "We won't have it. We won't have it!" "Why won't ya have it?" "No, you're gonna stay with us and sleep on our fold-out couch." And people don't sleep on their own fold-out couches. They have no idea what a torture rack that thing is. They mean well, y'know: "It's no problem, you just sleep on this-"

  [makes screeching noise] 

  Brian : Y'know, it's all cockeyed, they're brushin' off old Pop-Tart crumbs, y'know.

  Dr. Katz : Yeah.

  Brian : "We're gonna get it all set up for ya. We're gonna get it all set up." They're flappin' sheets all over. "We're gonna get it all set." You feel like an idiot standin' there: "Yeah, set it up. Let me know when it's all set." Then they have a mattress that's about this thick.

  [squeezes fingers together] 

  Dr. Katz : Mm-hmm.

  Brian : Y'know, and that death bar going right down the middle. It's like you're sleepin' on the top of a dog house: "Oh yeah, this is NICE! Feelin' good about life!"