- Nurse Samantha Taggart: [Abby is singing on the trauma room phone to baby Joe. The surgeon coming in looks at her strangely] Ah... she's auditioning for American Idol.
- [Pratt has told a group of elderly men that they need to have their prostates checked]
- Smitty: I wouldn't let Halle Berry stick a finger up my ass, and I sure as hell ain't gonna let you!
- Dr. Abby Lockhart: I don't want to be one of those crazy mothers who checks in with the babysitter every hour.
- Dr. Tony Gates: My babysitter used to tie me to my high chair.
- [Abby gives him a horrified look]
- Dr. Tony Gates: I'm sure yours is much better.
- [Abby begins to unbutton her shirt]
- Dr. Gregory Pratt: Wait, what are you doing?
- Dr. Abby Lockhart: I'm pumping. Sorry, my boobs are about to explode!
- Dr. Abby Lockhart: [to Gates] Didn't you used to be...
- Dr. Tony Gates: A paramedic. Yeah and now I'm an intern.
- Dr. Gregory Pratt: Yeah, and next week he wants to be a cowboy.
- Dr. Tony Gates: Astronaut!
- Luka Kovac: At the time of Mr. Ames's numbness, there were 47 patients in the ER, 82 in the waiting room. I was treating a young mother who was the victim of domestic violence, nearly beaten to death; an 8-year-old hit by a car and a 53-year-old heart attack victim. There are always sicker patients in the ER and it was reasonable to believe Mr. Ames's numbness could wait!
- [an attractive woman walks by]
- Old man: Ooh, boy, if I was 20 years younger...
- Dr. Gregory Pratt: You'd still be her granddaddy!
- Dr. Gregory Pratt: Gates is a knuckle-head who would defibrillate with a car battery and some jumper cables.