The Story of Juan Bago (2006) User Reviews

Great Work

[fs316 · 10/10 · 18 August 2006]

I enjoyed this film thoroughly. Great comedy and acting all around, classic characters and situations that stick with you. There are so many little things that are unforgettable - From the hilarious scene of the grandmother arriving, to the the little chihuahua tied on a string, to the goat milk, to the encounters Juan has with the Asian bum. The editing (Julian Conde) was tight very well done and the lead actor/producer (Michael Diaz) was brilliant in his role as Juan Bago. His transformation from a hopeless bum into a suave and sophisticated looking gentleman was an amazing sight to behold. I highly recommend this movie if your in the mood for a good fun time.

finally Dominicans represent

[knicklady · 10/10 · 20 September 2006]

I thoroughly enjoyed watching the movie. It was a feel good/ comedy that was very satisfying.. Michael and Jerry were great! As well as the rest of the cast. Jerry's characters accentuated the film and worked very well with Michael's character of Juan Bago. The father in the film really brought back memories of old men in the 'campo' in D.R. Can't wait to see what will become of the movie or the cast. But with all the fresh new talent that's in the film, one can only hope for the best. It's great to see Latino people get together and commit to something they believe in as they did in this film. Hopefully, the Latin community will all be able to watch it on the big screen nation wide..

The worst film I have ever seen

[Frostfire1 · 1/10 · 18 May 2009]

Words cannot convey how horrible this movie is. Imagine a student film, shot for no money, with a boring story, where no one who can act, where every scene has terrible lighting and there's no continuity in the editing. Now, add retarded jokes about pissing in your pants, not wiping your ass, and being sexually assaulted on the subway, but make sure to not give them the possibility of being funny in a gross-out kind of way. Start with a superfluous intro about random people meeting to tell the story of "Juan Bago", include paper-thin characters, and actors who make soft-core skinemax performers look like Oscar winners. Then, make it two hours long.

I purchased this for 5 dollars on Verizon ON-Demand, because the logline looked interesting. DO NOT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE. I have no idea how something this shoddy and unprofessional got put on a major distribution network, but it did, and I suffered the consequences, so that you might not have to.

I have been going to film festivals and watching movies for forty years. This is the single worst film I have ever seen. Even with the sheer extent of its artlessness, there's nothing entertaining about it. You can't laugh at it in a Ed Wood kind of way. It's not kitschy, or funny, in its badness. It's just bad. You can only sit there, writhing in agony, waiting for this sophomoric nightmare to end.

Also, the two reviews above me are clearly fake. They read like promo materials.

If you were to give a pack of bonobo monkeys a video camera, and they spent two hours flinging poo at the lens while jerking each other off, you would still have a better movie than Juan Bago. You could at least show it on the discovery channel.

A list of movies I would recommend before seeing "Juan Bago"

Planet 9 from Outer Space, Mortal Kombat: Annihilation, the movie my cousin with Down Syndrome made about his stuffed tiger on his Gameboy camera when he was five, and The Collected Works of Uwe Boll.