[first lines]
Clegg: It's a bit, uh, House and Garden, isn't it, Howard, hmm? Should you start enjoying home life what are you going to do with Marina?
Howard: [Howard gasps] I hardly know the person.
Clegg: How long have you had these aspirations towards the, ah, tea and crumpet set?
Pearl: It's him. He's been looking at holiday brochures.
Clegg: Ah.
Pearl: We don't holiday; we just look at brochures.''
Howard: She's nervous of air travel.
Pearl: Because he grips your arm so tightly it takes a week to get your circulation back.
Clegg: Does he often get fancy ideas?
Pearl: Not with his wife.
Howard: I just fancied breakfast on the terrace. I don't know why I'm picked on like this.
Pearl: Well, speaking personally, I enjoy it. Would you like a cup o' tea, Norm?
Clegg: Oh, thank you. I never thought I'd live next door to anybody who had breakfast on the terrace. But I must admit I always feel a bit uneasy about eating outdoors; there are so many people about wearing funny shorts. You can lose your appetite in seconds.
Howard: Used to eating outdoors. Though I suppose some people get used to it more quickly than others.
Pearl: There's a fly in your tea. Get used to that quickly too.
Howard: It's got a funny look about it.
Clegg: Long as it's not wearing funny shorts.
