Family Guy (TV Series)

Peter's Two Dads (2007)

Charles Durning: Francis Griffin

Quotes 

• Brian Griffin : Boy, it's amazing, isn't it? You get two fathers, and neither one of them wants anything to do with you.

  Peter Griffin : [about Mickey]  There's got to be some way I can make him see that I am worthy of being his son. But the only way I could ever impress him is if I was a fat, stinking drunk.

  Francis Griffin : Peter! You are a fat stinking drunk!

  Peter Griffin : [looks up]  What?

  Francis Griffin : [standing as a ghost from Star Wars along with Yoda and Obi-Wan Kenobi]  You're a fat, stinking drunk!

  Obiwan Kenobi : Yes, from what he's told us, that's right on the money.

  Yoda : Challenge him you must.

  Anikin Skywalker : [walks over as a ghost]  And I'm Hayden Christensen.

• Peter Griffin : Dad, I'm so sorry I broke all your ribs and busted your spleen and punctured your lung. I-I don't know if you can hear me right now, but... I hope you know... I love you, Dad.

  Francis Griffin : Peter... come closer. There's something... I need to say to you.

  Peter Griffin : I'm here, Dad. What is it?

  Francis Griffin : Peter... you're a fat, stinking drunk!

  [dies] 

  Peter Griffin : Oh, my God, he's dead! He can't be dead! There's gotta be something I can do. Maybe I'll bury him in the Pet Cemetery.

  [cutaway to Peter burying Francis in the Pet Cemetery. As he finishes, Francis jumps out of the ground screaming] 

  Peter Griffin : [screams and wacks Francis with the shovel until he stops]  Okay, I'll bury him in a regular cemetery.

• Francis Griffin : Peter. You're a fat, stinking drunk!

• Lois Griffin : All right, come on in, everybody. Have a seat anywhere. Meg's gonna open her presents in a little bit. Oh, Francis, I'm glad you could make it.

  Francis Griffin : Here. Here's this for Megan.

  Lois Griffin : Oh. What is it?

  Francis Griffin : It's a cookie from lunch period at the home.

  Lois Griffin : Well, I'm sure she'll love this.

  Francis Griffin : I want to see her eat it!

• Francis Griffin : Peter, have you been drinking?

  Peter Griffin : Well, a little. It is a party.

  Francis Griffin : Take off that stupid costume! You look like a damn fool.

  Peter Griffin : Ah, dad, you won't say that when you see my grand unicycle finale. Everyone, I'll be right back. In the meantime, I leave you with the musical stylings of Chris Griffin.