"CSI: Miami" If Looks Could Kill (TV Episode 2006) Poster

(TV Series)

(2006)

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8/10
The Modeling Business: Pretty On The Outside, Ugly On The Inside
ccthemovieman-12 December 2007
We get the not-untypical adultery scene in the beginning which leads quickly to a chase of the irate husband running after the male "perp" but with a different kind of finish - no shots fired and both men stunned to find a dead body being cut by an outboard motor. It turns out the guy had already been killed, run over by a vehicle, and dumped in the water next to this boat. The mystery is to find out who he is and what happened?

Also, Natalia's ex-husband gets out of jail and is there to apply for job at CSI, which freaks her out. Seeing that early scene brought two questions to mind quickly: why are the ex- husbands always portrayed to be scumbags and why are there no married people on these CSI shows. Is Hollywood that much against traditional marriage? I guess so and, off hand, I can't recall any main CSI character on any of the three shows that is married, except maybe "Flack" on CSI-New York. I'd like to see at least one of the main guys: William Peterson, Gary Sinise or David Caruso, happily married and with a family.

Anyway, this story has a lot of "catty" and obnoxious people since it deals with a modeling agency and the women, men, bosses, etc., are all portrayed as such.

The case is wrapped up by the halfway mark, which is unusual, but a then a second model is found dead. "Wow, suddenly modeling is becoming the most dangerous job in Miami," notes Alex, the medical examiner.

So, between modeling mayhem and the social problems of Natalie and her pushy ex- husband, that's this week's episode which was entertaining, as always.

CSI-Miami Season 5 Ep 5 This case is referred to as an 'eminant domain' murder by one of the CSI workers here (Eric) which means, among other things, someone (a councilman) was found in an empty house which was slated for demolition by a city developer. Have you ever noticed how developers are always the bad guys on television shows? They are always shown as heartless pigs who are needless evicting people, usually poor and of color. This is different in that fairly affluent white people are being tossed from a decent neighborhood from some bigwig named "Preston" who wants to make a killing. Along the way, writers put in a cheap shot against capitalism, too. (I wonder if they feel the same when they get their huge weekly paycheck?)

Anyway, Ryan Wolfe is the main man in this case, which begins with an interesting scene about "bloaters," people who have been dead for about four days and will literally burst from the inside out if a medical examiner doesn't "pop" them. It's gross, but it was interesting.

The story was okay; nothing extraordinary, and very computer-enhanced visually, but that's fine with me. I like the stylish look, even if it's obvious in some scenes (check the hues on the skies all the time). It's still, I assume, the most colorful show (literally) on TV.
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1/10
Ignorant, lazy writing.
DcharlesS11 July 2022
Warning: Spoilers
I liked the story line of the modeling agency it fell in line with the rest of the series and had a nice poetic justice kinda feel.

However, Boa Vista's story line with her abusive ex husband was poorly thought out. The ex husband trespassed into an active crime scene(officers are usually guarding but are suspiciously absent), was ordered to leave then Boa Vista gets understandably emotional and mildly threatening(only after he subtly threatened her livelihood and well-being) which somehow causes a judge to approve a restraining order favoring the ex? No judge would sign off on that! And even if they were possibly drunk and actually did approve such an asinine request, then an appeal would be in order immediately! It's so reprehensible that all the characters just accept it and they all act like it was normal for that to happen. He's a known criminal and abuser fresh out of prison! And a judge approves a restraining order against the woman for which he went to prison for beating?!? Which, by the way, would hinder investigations and process of justice, because of Boa Vista being constantly removed from her own crime scenes because he somehow now has control over the CSI's and can show up to crime scenes early if he wishes and force her to leave! As though the RO gave him(a felon!) seniority over the CSI's! And it's somehow overlooked that he trespassed and possibly contaminated TWO crime scenes and yet he's somehow given a job cleaning them up? Also, I'm sure they run a background check for a job in crime scene cleanup as well. So even if he did happen to commit fraud to get the job he'd be caught almost immediately, working closely with law enforcement and past acquaintances. The stupidity of this story line is inexcusable and the reason for my 1 star rating. The episode would have gotten a 7 from me if it wasn't for the lazy, ignorant and boorish writing in Boa Vista's story line.

I know I'm ranting, but I was enjoying the series, overall, and I'm angry that I might have to stop watching if this isn't rectified in future episodes or if such idiotic writing is getting past the other writers, producers, directors. I mean, they also have advisors and readers on set who are supposed to catch that sort of thing, and nobody thought that it was even a little sketchy! It blows my mind. Granted, as with most TV shows, you have to get used to suspending your belief a bit. But this is just ridiculous. If they don't clean this up, I'm probably done. Yes, I realize the show has been over for years but I only discovered the CSI franchise a few years back and am slowly making my way through. So their money has been made and my opinion of this and any other episode doesn't really matter anyway, unless you're a late comer like myself and also found this episode to be written by a high schooler, you're in good company. :)
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1/10
Weak story, lazy writing.
ben-mason1013 November 2020
Warning: Spoilers
**Spoilers**

Can't believe how weak the story is in this episode. The featuring of one of the CSI's ex-husband getting a restraining order is just pathetic and frustrating to watch. I almost skipped the rest of the episode when they kicked her off a crime scene because he got a restraining order.

Wish I had given up, it didn't get any better!
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