Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip (TV Series)

The Cold Open (2006)

Sarah Paulson: Harriet Hayes

Photos 

Quotes 

• Matt Albie : [at a writers' meeting]  What are you all wearing? I'm not Blackwell or anything, but holy cow, what the hell are you guys wearing? One of the things this show does is decide what's cool, and I've just decided it's no longer cool for grown men to dress as if they're in junior high school.

  Ron Tahoe : It's a comedy, Matt.

  Matt Albie : Not yet it's not, and until it is, we're all gonna act professionally. You understand? We're gonna act, dress, talk, write, and behave professionally!

  Harriet Hayes : [storms into the room, shouting at Matt]  You are an adolescent, oversexed whoremonger with the sensitivity of a head of cabbage!

  Matt Albie : And all that will begin in just a few minutes.

• Matt Albie : You broke up with me, Harry... and if you don't believe me, I have a copy of the e-mail. Yeah, she did it by e-mail, ladies and germs! I've got a copy of the e-mail on my hard-drive and another one in a safe deposit box at City National.

  Harriet Hayes : That's funny, 'cause I keep all your things nicely stored on a garbage scow off Catalina.

  Matt Albie : Right, so can I go date a woman who doesn't?

  Harriet Hayes : Well, that population's gettin' pretty thin...

  Matt Albie : Look...

  Harriet Hayes : Bad enough I have to read about you with Mena Suvari...

  Matt Albie : That was...

  Harriet Hayes : ...Fiona Apple, Rachel McAdams, Marlo Thomas...

  Matt Albie : You think I've been dating Marlo Thomas?

  Harriet Hayes : Who the hell knows what you do, you addle-minded pervert!

  Matt Albie : Marlo's married to Phil Donahue, who can still beat the crap out of me any time he wants.

  Harriet Hayes : Thank God!

  Matt Albie : Seriously, he's a huge Irish man!

  Harriet Hayes : I'm too tired for this.

  [Harriet begins to walk away, Matt follows her] 

  Matt Albie : I never dated any of those people.

  Harriet Hayes : Page Six said you did.

  Matt Albie : Oh well then, you've got me, because if Page Six said it, then it must be true. Did you get hard confirmation from The Drudge Report?

• Harriet Hayes : I have an active imagination Matthew. I'm paid a lot of money for it. And you had to know I was going to find out. So now I have THIS in my imagination. That's just mean.