Married... with Children (TV Series)

Best of Bundy (1995)

Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peggy Bundy : Hi, honey. How was your day?

  Al Bundy : Hey, I came home, how good could it have been?

• Al Bundy : I wish the world was a fly and I was a giant rolled-up newspaper.

  Peggy Bundy : Here we go again.

  Al Bundy : A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today. She said "I'd like something I'd be comfortable in." I said "Try Wyoming!"

• Marcy D'Arcy : I don't know why we even need bras.

  Al Bundy : Well, I think it's to keep your breast off the plate when you eat.

• Marcy D'Arcy : You know who we have to thank for this whole bra problem?

  Al Bundy : Me?

  Marcy D'Arcy : No, men! They design and manufacture bras not for the bosoms that we have, but for the bosoms that they want. You know what would happen if men had breasts?

  Al Bundy : We wouldn't need women anymore?

  Peggy Bundy : [to Al]  And if you had what other men have, I wouldn't need batteries anymore!

  Al Bundy : That's what happened to my Die Hards!

• Kelly Bundy : Look what they want me to wear for my next Verminator commercial.

  [tiny red bikini] 

  Kelly Bundy : Daddy, I'm afraid that if I keep doing this, people are gonna think that I'm all body and no...

  [forgets what she's talking about] 

  Al Bundy : Mind?

  Kelly Bundy : No, I don't, go ahead.

• Peggy Bundy : Gee, Al, I don't know about you, but I'm horny as hell.

  Al Bundy : Well, so am I, but you don't see me bothering you about it, do you?

• Al Bundy : Peg, I wouldn't rub your tushy if Robin Williams popped out of it and offered me three wishes.