The Venture Bros. (TV Series)

Hate Floats (2006)

Christopher McCulloch: Hank Venture, The Monarch, Henchman 24, Thug Henchman, Saleslady

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dean Venture : Mommy, how do you know where to go?

  Dr. Girlfriend : I'm not your mommy! And I put a tracer on the Monarch when we were first dating- HANK, take this right!

  Hank Venture : I'm driving! I'm a driver!

  Dean Venture , Dr. Girlfriend : We know!

  Dr. Girlfriend : Yeah, tracer. You do stuff like that when you date supervillains.

  Dean Venture : Where'd you put it? Is it in his brain? Or is it like a secret tracer tooth?

  Dr. Girlfriend : No, I hid it in my mouth and I jammed it up his... Honey, like I said, you do some pretty strange things when you date supervillains.

• Hank Venture : Who are all these people?

  Dean Venture : Are they all mommy's other boyfriends?

  Dr. Girlfriend : Stop calling me your fucking mommy!

• Henchman 24 : We're gonna get our asses kicked. We didn't have a breakfast.

• The Monarch : 21!

  Henchman 21 : Boss?

  The Monarch : This is the Monarch speaking.

  Henchman 21 : Holy crud! I got 24 on the other line. I'll put us on three-way, 'cause I have that.

  The Monarch : Good! I want him to hear this, too.

  Henchman 21 : Dude, it's the Monarch.

  Henchman 24 : Hey, boss! How's prison?

  The Monarch : Well, I'm out! No thanks to you *shmucks!* Guess where I am now?

  Henchman 21 : At a good friend's house?

  Henchman 24 : [simultaneously]  Uh, a Best Western?

  The Monarch : I am sitting in the charred remains of my once-mighty flying Cocoon! Anyone... wanna... explain to me why my Cocoon is charred?

  Henchman 24 : Because you told us to destroy the Cocoon?

  The Monarch : And why it is *sideways?*

  Henchman 21 : We were following orders! You can't yell at us for following orders!

  Henchman 24 : Or *kill* us for following orders!

  The Monarch : [sighs]  Never mind. Just... summon the others and get over here.

  Henchman 24 : Uh, there are no others.

  Henchman 21 : Yeah, most of them joined up with Monstroso's crew when he went inside. And we kinda lost touch after that.

  The Monarch : I'm not gonna lose my temper... All right! Here's what is going to happen - I'm going to take a shower in what is left of my bathroom. When I get out, I expect you to be here... and I expect this Cocoon to be *fully* manned and *fully* operational!

  [hangs up] 

• The Monarch : [to his new henchmen]  The most reckless, graceless exhibition of henchmenism I've ever seen! You think you're all a bunch of hotshot young Turk 182s, don't ya? Well there are rules in this business! It's about finesse. We don't just go in, guns-a-blazing willy-nilly. And where did you get real guns anyway, huh? Those aren't standard issue! Hand them over!

  [henchmen laugh] 

  The Monarch : What is this, funny to you? I said hand over your firearms or I will be forced to...

  [henchmen raise their guns at the Monarch] 

• Henchman 21 : [Opening his bureau]  Gentlemen, choose your weapons.

  Henchman 24 : Are these them?

  Henchman 21 : [correcting]  Are these 'they'.

  Henchman 24 : Who talks like that?

  The Monarch : Stand aside. I'm in charge here and I will assign the... are these they?

  Henchman 21 : [Proudly, as the scene reveals the 'weapons' to be collector's toys]  Yep. And you gotta admit that it is a sweet collection.

  The Monarch : You fucking idiot! You expect us to go in to battle with these? Is it your plan so that they will die laughing?

  Dr. Venture : Oh, no, I think you'll have that covered when you storm the room with butterfly costumes.

  The Monarch : Oh ha, ha, ha, ha... nice one-sie, dick! Does it have snaps in the back so you can make poopies?

  Henchman 24 : Oh, snap!

  Dr. Venture : For your information, this isn't a one-sie, it is a speed suit!

  The Monarch : Or they can think that you're a three year old with prygeria and take pity on us.

  Henchman 24 : Oh, in your face!

• Dean Venture : Don't say it.

  Hank Venture : You look like the mayor of Candyland!

• The Monarch : SHIT! Mall cops! Henchmen, retreat!

• The Monarch : There's just so many buttons... so... so many buttons!

• The Monarch : [while gazing at the sleeping Dr. Girlfriend]  Can you read my mind? Do you know what it is that you do to me? Here - here I am, like a kid out of school, holding hands with a goddess like a fool.