Married... with Children (TV Series)
Wabbit Season (1990)
Ed O'Neill: Al Bundy
Photos
Quotes
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Al Bundy : If dynamite was dangerous, do you think they'd sell it to an idiot like me?
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Al Bundy : Oh, Peg, it was horrible. 16 straight hours of shoe-selling mayhem. The last thing I remember that that I was down on one knee, waiting on an overflowing glacier of a woman. The first thing they teach you when you're a rookie shoe salesman is when you've got a fat one in the chair, never look up. I looked up, Peg. I saw underwear. It said "Saturday."
Peggy Bundy : So what?
Al Bundy : Today's Wednesday!
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Al : [singing] Old Mc Bundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y. And on this farm there was no wife, B-U-N-D-Y. With-a no wife here and a-no kids there. A hooker coming over on Friday nights. With big luscious hooters, a pizza, and a beer there. Old Mc Bundy had a farm, B-U-N-D-Y.
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Al Bundy : [in Elmer Fudd voice] Be vewy vewy quiet. I'm hunting wabbits.
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Al Bundy : Wanna cheek a Red Man?
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Al : I must have poured a million gallons of water down that hole. I flooded the whole block and every living thing in it. Now if that rabbit's still alive, I'm yours tonight.
[Rabbit's head pops out of hole]
Peggy : [talking to the kids] You know, the sad thing is, I don't really want him. But, a promise is a promise.
Al : Now look what you've done! You'll be screaming worse than me, I'll tell you!
[as Peggy drags him into the house]
Al : I'll get you for this, I'll make you pay for this, I'm telling you!
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Al : After midnight, we're gonna sell a lot of shoes!
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Al : [aiming a shotgun] Oh, Mr. Wabbit? Come and get a tasty cawwot...
[two gunshots]
Bud Bundy : Well, at least he didn't shoot himself in the foot.
Peggy Bundy : Hmph, give him a minute.
[a third gunshot; Al hops past the window on one foot, screaming in pain]