- [the radio plays during a view of the empty Bundy household]
- Announcer: And on a local note, tragedy was narrowly averted moments ago, when a sobbing woman and her two hysterical children were talked down from a ledge on the Sears Tower. It's believed to be the first family suicide attempt in Chicago history. The woman was quoted as sobbing: "Shoes! He sells shoes!"
- Al: [enters] I'm home!
- Steve: They think back: "Let's see... who was the last person in the bank on Saturday? Who had the opportunity? Why, it was Rhoades. No wonder he called in sick today. Well, let's turn down his car loan and give him twenty years to life". Of course, I'll turn you in, and as soon as we're both behind bars, I'm going to kill you. And if I can't do it myself, I'll make sure my boyfriend's bigger than yours.
- Steve: Al, we're talking 20 to 50 with chainsaw killers. And don't think I'm serving time alone, Bundy. If I'm gonna be playing in the showers with maniacs, you're gonna be passing me the soap.
- Al: Got the whole house to myself. It's like I died and went to...
- Peggy Bundy: [Peggy enters] Hi Al.
- Al: Hell.