- Sue Ann Nivens: Now, if you want to tidy up in a hurry, think of your living room as a big clock. Start at midnight, and then go around the room working clockwise toward the kitchen. You'll be done in two shakes of a lamb's tail.
- Phyllis Lindstrom: Do you know that his clothes are cleaner when he comes home at night than they are when he leaves in the morning?
- Phyllis Lindstrom: I'll wait it out. Sooner or later, Lars is going to get tired of her. And he'll come back to me. And then I'm going to... punish him for this.
- Mary Richards: Sue Ann just doesn't seem the type. You know, she seems more like the kind of woman you leave for someone else.
- Phyllis Lindstrom: [Mary and Rhoda are sitting in Mary's apartment, talking about Rhoda's old New York roommate, who had lots of affairs. Just them, Phyllis comes in] Mary, oh...
- [pause, then in a monotone]
- Phyllis Lindstrom: hello, Rhoda.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: I always try to stay all the way out of that kind of scene. Ever since Cynthia Zimmer, you know, my roommate in New York. Not the 68th street roommate, the 83rd street,
- Mary Richards: Oh yeah.
- Rhoda Morgenstern: She was the champ. 14 married guys in one year. You should have seen Christmas at our apartment. You never saw more gifts and less people.