The Mary Tyler Moore Show (TV Series)

An Affair to Forget (1974)

Ted Knight: Ted Baxter

Photos 

Quotes 

• Mary Richards : [Ted's just taken Mary home from their - or, more accurately, his first *date*. He's gotten himself into her apartment, and ignores Mary's repeated pleas for him to leave. As Mary hands Ted his blazer, Tee throws himself at Mary, who blocks him from trying to hug and kiss her]  Ted, I just don't want to kiss you 'good night', alright?

  Ted Baxter : Well, if that's the way you feel, why did you go out with me in the first place?

  Mary Richards : [Exasperated]  Ted!

  Ted Baxter : Alright, alright. You don't have to kiss me good night if you don't want to, I'm not going to argue with you. I respect you too much to wrestle with you.

  Mary Richards : [Even more exasperated]  Thank you!

  Ted Baxter : [Ted puts on his blazer and makes his way to Mary's door]  After all, you imlive.com give me a good night kiss, just 'cause I bought you a $32 dinner.

  [Ted starts talking in his meek voice] 

  Ted Baxter : So, forget the goodnight kiss. After all, what's a good night kiss... a small... token of friendship

  [Ted starts caressing the brass pole by Mary's door, as Mary's looking into space] 

  Ted Baxter : just the way one person has to say to another person; *I like you person*

  [Mary continues to sigh] 

  Ted Baxter : If you don't think I'm worth... a simple... innocent kiss, goodnight, I'll... that's alright

  Mary Richards : [Mary rubs her forehead with her eyes closed]  Ted; if I kiss you good night, will you go home?

  [Ted silently nod's affirmatively, as he continues to look away from Mary. Mary winces, and looks... heavenward, then slowly moves towards Ted, who's got his back on Mary's door frame. She slowly, agonisingly, walks towards him, Ted - with his eyes closed - moves his lips towards Mary, who turns away - nauseated. She scratches her back, and builds up courage, and hesitatingly - jerkingly - moves - again - towards Ted. They both - move the final few inches towards each other, Mary moving glacially slow. She finally brushes her lips, quickly, then turns her he'd, and jerks quickly away. Ted adjusts his tie, in a hound-dog fashion] 

  Ted Baxter : [Smiling]  No woman has been born who can resist Ted Baxter.

• Mary Richards : [Mary walks into WJM - frazzled, from all of the suspicion's Ted's been causing - inferring he and Mary are dating]  Alright! Okay, th-that's it, I've, I've got to say something. I-I d-don't know what I'm gonna say, but, I gotta say something.

  Lou Grant : What's wrong?

  Mary Richards : This whole crazy thing with Ted has just gotten out of hand. Now everybody in the building thinks I'm... 'easy-pickens'.

  [Mary hangs up coat] 

  Murray Slaughter : That's ridiculous, Mary!

  Mary Richards : [Mary walks towards her desk]  Oh, really? Tony, at the newsstand, who for five years has been saying; " good morning, Miss Richards', today greeted me with; 'how's tricks, cookie?'And just now, Ollie, the elevator man - stopped the car between floors, leered at me, and said

  [Mary makes a face] 

  Mary Richards : ; 'he was out of gas'.

  Lou Grant : So, what's the big deal? Ollie has to be at least 85 years old.

  Murray Slaughter : No wonder he's out of gas.

  Mary Richards : Go ahead. Laugh. But to me, this happens to be very serious.

  [Ted walked in from the studio] 

  Mary Richards : I know I shouldn't care what people think, but I do, I can't help it, that's the way I am. I wash my hair before I go to the hairdresser. If somebody's stomach rumbles, I'm terrified people will think that it's mine. Once I went into a book store to buy a copy of 'Everything You Wanted To Know About Sex, But Were Afraid To Ask'. I was afraid to ask for the book. So you can see why it's very important to me to know that you all believe me about Ted. Even though I realise the more I stand here trying to get you to believe me, the less you do believe me.

  Lou Grant : Mary, we believe you.

  Mary Richards : [Mary, sitting at her desk on the verge of tears]  How can you believe me, if I were listening to me talk like this, I wouldn't believe me?

  Mary Richards : Mary, you've got to calm down.

  Mary Richards : Well, I can't.

  Lou Grant : Mary, you want to come into my office?

  Mary Richards : No, Mr Grant, the Bernstein story won't do it.

  [exasperated] 

  Mary Richards : I never *did* understand it. Look, I'm really sorry. I just, I thought, maybe I could clear things up. I don't even know what I'm talking about any more, and I'm - I'm very sorry, so let's just forget it, and all go back to work.

  Ted Baxter : Hold it. Everybody, stay where you are. Now, now here this; for the past couple of days, I've been saying things that made it sound like there's something between Mary and me. Well

  [Ted, sighs] 

  Ted Baxter : I lied. In the first place, she didn't propose to me. And, in the second place, never offered to take me to Hawaii. And in the third place, there are no fingernail scratches down my back. They're all lies. I made them all up. To sum it all up; I am not now, nor have I ever been Mary Richards' lover.

  [Lou, Murray, and Sue Ann all wander off, leaven ad Mary alone in the newsroom. Ted talks gently] 

  Ted Baxter : Okay, Mare?

  Mary Richards : I realise that was, um, very hard for you to do, Ted.

  Ted Baxter : Well, no one's gonna mess around with my little sister

  [Ted smiles] 

  Ted Baxter : and if anybody ever gives you trouble ,just come to yours truly, okay? And I mean anyone. Even me.

  [Mary smiles., finally, and looks back at Ted]