How I Met Your Mother (TV Series)

Mary the Paralegal (2006)

Neil Patrick Harris: Barney Stinson

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barney : Or, it's a chance to mess with her head by showing up with someone hotter! Even better, triple threat: hotter, and bigger boobs!

  Ted : That's only two.

  Barney : Count again...

• Barney : Do it. Come on Ted, do it. This is one of those things you have to do before you turn 30.

  Ted : Sleep with a prostitute?

  Barney : No, lose your virginity. What up!

• Barney : What, you have some puritanical hang-up about prostitution? Dude, it's the world's oldest profession!

  Marshall Eriksen : You really think that's true?

  Barney : Ohh, yeah. I bet even Cro-Magnons used to give cave hookers like, an extra fish for putting out.

  Marshall Eriksen : Uh huh, so then the oldest profession would be fisherman. Kaboom! You've been lawyered.

• Barney : Oh come on, if you don't laugh it just seems mean.

• Barney : You want to judge a fellow human being based solely on one external characteristic? That's racism. And I do not drink with racists. Good day!

  Ted : You're just waiting for me to speak, so you can...

  Barney : I said good day!