Scrubs (TV Series)

His Story III (2006)

Neil Flynn: Janitor

Quotes 

• Nurse : Knock, knock.

  Janitor : [in head]  Who's there?

  Janitor : [in head]  Nurse mophead.

  Janitor : [in head]  Nurse mophead who?

  Janitor : [in head]  You have a mophead.

• Janitor : [Assisting with the care of a seizure patient]  This is easy, just like drowning someone.

• [the janitor is holding a patients legs down] 

  Janitor : This is easy. Just like drowning someone.

• Janitor : I guess I just never realized how you pick up just from working here. I heard someone yell 'Hold that woman's legs down!' and I instinctively knew what to do.

• Janitor : But I didn't even see the demon leave the body.

  Nurse Carla Espinosa : I'm sure it did.

• Janitor : [the Janitor is using a drill with a fork in the front grip to twirl a patients Spagehttie]  Drill Fork you can Drill and Fork. But Mostly Fork.

  Janitor : I got alot of other invention.

  [Janitor stabs a pen into a soda can] 

  Janitor : Pen straw. Don't like that cola though. tastes like ink.

• Janitor : Knife wrench; practical and safe!

  [puts in his pocket and stabs his leg] 

  Janitor : argh... aaargh.

• [the Janitor has lied about the time to Kelso, and thereby, Kelso went late to an appointment] 

  Dr. Kelso : Thanks to your little telling-me-the-wrong-time-prank, I was 45 minutes late for my oriental massage, which meant that instead of Pang-Wa, I had to settle for Ching-Dau.

  Janitor : So?

  Dr. Kelso : Ching-Dau is a *DUDE*!