NewsRadio (TV Series)
Massage Chair (1996)
Phil Hartman: Bill McNeal
Quotes
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[the rest of the staff meets to protest a policy of Dave's]
Lisa : Well, seeing as how Dave and I...
Joe : Do it?
Lisa : ...are romantically...
Joe : Doing it?
Lisa : ...sleeping together, I think this precludes me from taking part in any revolution.
Bill : Benedict Arnold slept with George Washington.
Lisa : You really need to stop getting your history from Gore Vidal.
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Bill McNeal : First thing we need is pick a position. Like Custer, we will make a stand.
Catherine Duke : Wasn't Custer massacred?
Bill McNeal : Big Chief Custer? No, he killed many palefaces that day.
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Bill McNeal : Ah, two of the most exquisite pleasures known to modern man: tobacco and whatever it is this chair is doing to my pelvis.
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Bill : This may come as a surprise to Dave, but slavery was abolished in this country! No offense, Catherine.
Catherine Duke : Why would I be offended by slavery being abolished?
Bill : I don't know. I just like to cover my bases.
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Bill : Benedict Arnold slept with George Washington!
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Bill : And it's not just the snacks! I mean, look what's happened to our smoking lounge.
Matthew : Oh, that's *your* smoking lounge, Bill. I'm still very against that!
Bill : Whatever. I can remember when there were comfortable chairs out there!
Catherine Duke : Maybe you shouldn't have stolen the comfortable chairs for the den at home.
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Bill : Well, lets see... the chair costs $2,000. Since there's only two of us, that makes your share $1,200.
Matthew Brock : No, it should be a thousand, right?
Bill : You better get yourself a calculator, my friend.
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Bill : Two of the greatest pleasures known to modern man; alcohol and whatever this thing is doing to my pelvis.
