The Simpsons (TV Series)

Two Bad Neighbors (1996)

Hank Azaria: Apu Nahasapeemapetilon, Chief Wiggum, Disco Stu, Ray Johnson, Mikhail Gorbachev

Quotes 

• Mikhail Gorbachev : I come by to give present for warming house, but instead I find you grappling with local oaf.

• Apu Nahasapeemapetilon : [washing his car as Homer and Bart approach]  Howdy, neighbor. May I spray you with the hose in a playful fashion?

  Homer : Uh... spray the boy.

• Homer : [pulling into the Krusty Burger drive-thru]  Oh, man! I only got one minute 'til they stop serving those breakfast balls.

  [seeing another car already in line] 

  Homer : D'oh!

  George Bush : Let's see now. What do you folks have here, huh? Hmm, a Krusty Burger. That doesn't sound too appetizing. What kind of stew do you have today?

  Squeaky-Voiced Teen : [over the intercom]  Uh, we don't have stew.

  Ray Johnson : [Homer starts honking his horn impatiently]  Sir, why don't you just have the cheeseburger?

  George Bush : Oh, that's really more of a weekend thing, Ray.

  Homer : Hey, jerk! Move your fanny!

  George Bush : That guy is louder than World War II. Ray, go see what the rhubarb is, will you?

  Ray Johnson : [going back to Homer's car]  Sir, could you pop your hood?

  Homer : [as he does so, Ray disables the horn]  Hey! My taxes paid for that horn.

• Ray Johnson : You want to step back, sir? You're trampling the flowers.

  Homer : Ooh! Hiding behind your goons, eh, Bush? Ooh! Well, *you* are a wimp!

  George Bush : [his lip trembling]  Wimp... am I? Agent Johnson? Agent Heintz? You men, stand down.

  [shrugging, they do so, and he opens the gate] 

  George Bush : All right, mister. You want trouble, you're gonna get trouble.

  Homer : Oh, I want trouble, all right.

  George Bush : Then you're gonna get trouble.

  Homer : No, *you're* gonna get trouble.

  George Bush : Oh, that's good, that's good, 'cause I want trouble.

  Homer : Then we're agreed there'll be trouble.

  George Bush : Oh, yeah, lots of trouble.

  Homer : Trouble, it is.

  George Bush : For you.

  Homer : For...

  [Bush slams his front door] 

  Homer : D'oh!

• Homer : Well, ready for the big rummage sale?

  Apu Nahasapeemapetilon : Oh, yes, indeed. I've got nothing but time until they fix that malfunctioning Squishee machine.

  [cut to the Kwik-E-Mart, which is submerged in Squishee syrup; as maintenance workers in scuba suits work on the machine, Jimbo steals two six-packs of beer] 

• Apu Nahasapeemapetilon : Howdy neighbor may I spray you with my hose in a friendly neighbor fashion?