Homer Simpson: I rounded up every Simpson in the tri-city area so I can prove to you there's nothing wrong with the Simpson genes. This is your great uncle Chet. Go ahead, Chet, tell her what you do.
Great Uncle Chet: I run an unsuccessful shrimp company.
Homer Simpson: [nervously] Oh... but you *run* it, right?
Great Uncle Chet: [smugly] Oh, yeah.
Homer Simpson: Okay... uh, this is your second cousin, Stanley!
Cousin Stanley: Um, I shoot birds at the airport.
Homer Simpson: [More nervously] Everybody hates birds, right?
[Homer frantically looks for a successful relative and spots a dapper man smoking a cigar.]
Homer Simpson: You look pretty successful!
Simpson Relative 1: Thanks! I play a millionaire at parties.
[sighs defeatedly]
Simpson Relative 1: At least, I'd like to.
Bart Simpson: You probably should have researched this first, eh dad?
Homer Simpson: What about you?
Simpson Relative 2: Well, sir, I step in front of cars and sue the drivers.
Simpson Relative 3: I beg celebrities for money!
Simpson Relative 4: I'm a prison snitch.
Simpson Relative 5: Jug band manager.
Simpson Relative 6: My legs hurt.