- Bart and Lisa become locked in competition when they anchor a children's news program; Homer adopts a helper monkey.
- During a prank that goes wrong Bart destroys Groundskeeper Willie's shack. At the same time lazy Homer is getting a helper monkey called Mojo to do his chores and Lisa is the anchor on a children's T.V. news show. When Bart joins her as co-presenter and they start to compete for stories she takes her revenge by sending him to the scrapyard where Willie is sleeping rough.—don @ minifie-1
- The episode begins with an itchy and scratchy episode, where scratchy gets blown up like a balloon, before getting turned into a no vacancy sign. Krusty starts laughing but the agency feels that itchy and scratchy aren't educational enough, so they decide to do a kids news show instead. At Springfield Elementary school, Willie finishes his pile of leaves and goes into his shack to drink alcohol and sleep. Meanwhile, Bart does a trick on his skateboard, ruining Willies pile and Willie takes the board away, before drowning out Barts knocking on the door with bagpipe music. Bart then spots a creamed corn truck and fills Willies shack with creamed corn. Meanwhile, in the principals office, Skinner tells Lisa that she has been chosen to be the anchor for the news show, to which she agrees. Back in Willies shack, Willie tries eating his way out, before his shack explodes. Willie swears revenge and that he will kill Bart. Now in the Simpson household, Bart wants to do sports for the show, but Lisa isn't convinced. In the kwik-e mart Homer wants to buy gum and it is revealed that Apu was shot, so he has a helper monkey to do his work, while he recovers and Homer gets an idea. In the news room, Lisa tells Bart to stop fooling around and Kent Brockman wishes the kids luck. Homer goes for a monkey but is rejected as he is not disabled, but grabs Grandpa and gets the monkey as a result. Lisa presents her part of the show, about periodicals in the library, before Bart presents the sports field. After the show, it is announced that Bart is off the sports beat and will be Lisa's co-anchor, much to her annoyance. Bart goes to clean his teeth and Lisa is told that Bart has a certain spark the audience loves and Lisa calls him dumb as he has never read a newspaper. Marge chases the monkey named Mojo around the kitchen with a broom and Homer tries to convince Marge to keep it. Bart tries to read a newspaper, but instantly turns to the comics section, as Marge rushes off to get a tetanus shot. Bart then goes to see Kent Brockman and he shares his secret of human interest stories, which tugs at hearts, so the next day Bart presents his own story, about an old man who sits without any ducks and just throws bread into the water. Homer asks Marge if he can get a duck, but she says no. Barts story gets a round of applause and Lisa tells him that it wasn't a news story, but "sappy manipulative drivel" and denies he even cares for the man. Later, Lisa went to do a sob story of her own, about the crazy cat lady, who starts throwing cats at her and the fact that the old Union Pacific train doesn't come by anymore, before it does come through in the background and the crazy cat lady continues throwing her cats. At Lard Lad Donuts, Mojo sneaks out with a load of donuts, but won't share with Homer, but eventually throws him half an eaten one and Homer eats it off the floor. Bart then does a story on American veterans and how they are making flags out of old clothes. Bart talks about how important veterans are and Lisa's jealousy grows ever stronger. In the Simpson kitchen, a pile of letters from people who want to be Barts people scatter across the table and Marge tells him how proud she is of him for giving back to the community. Lisa finally snaps and starts to strangle Bart before Marge tells her not to feel that way as she is still very important to the show and Lisa goes up to her room and thinks about showing everyone how much of a phoney Bart is and she gets an idea. Just before the next show, Lisa walks into Barts dressing room and tells him he has another letter. Bart opens it up and reads that an immigrant is now sleeping homeless in a junkyard and Bart takes the chopper to put him live on the air. Homer and Mojo lay on the living room floor and Marge sees that Mojo isn't in good shape and asks for him to be rehabilitated, so Homer takes him back. Bart arrives at the dump and Willie attempts to kill him with a car bumper. Lisa then realizes what she has done and rushes off to help him. Lisa then arrives and tells Willie that Bart is his son and that he is the representation of every shrieking commercial, which calms Willie down and he walks away. Bart and Lisa agree to work together to make kids care about the news, only to find that their show has been cancelled to make way for the "Mattel and Mars bar quick energy chocobot hour", which Bart enjoys but Lisa complains.
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