Xiaolin Showdown (TV Series)

In the Flesh (2004)

Danny Cooksey: Jack Spicer

Quotes 

• Omi : The only one who may be a weeping loser is you, Jack Spicer! And you, Wuya! You shall weep over your loss as well!

  Jack Spicer : Wow. That is the lamest taunt ever. Stick to the jumping and kicking, Omi.

  Omi : As you wish! Aah-chaa!

• Omi : Ooh, that is as Kimiko might say, "heavy... or not!"

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : Jokes aren't going to get Shen Gong Wu, people. Saddle up.

  Jack Spicer : What's the matter, Wuya? Need a hand? Ha ha ha. It's too bad yours are all ghosty.

  Wuya : The Reversing's mine! I found it first!

  Jack Spicer : Hey, you know what they say, finders keepers, losers weepers.

• Jack Spicer : Aah!

  Omi : Huh! Aah!

  Jack Spicer : Too slow.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Got it!

  Jack Spicer : Jack-Bots, attack!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Whoa!

  Clay Bailey : Yeah!

  Jack Spicer : Yoink!

• Raimundo : Flashlight tag is the game. My Tiger Claws against your Lotus Twister. First one caught in the light beam loses.

  Jack Spicer : Whatever. Let's go.

  Raimundo : Xiaolin Showdown!

  Jack Spicer : Xiaolin Showdown!

• Raimundo : Gong Yi Tampai!

  Jack Spicer : Gong Yi Tampai! Lotus Twister!

  Raimundo : Golden Tiger Claws! Uh-oh!

  Jack Spicer : Aah! If I get myself tied in a knot over this, I'm gonna sue!

• Jack Spicer : Sorry, pal. You're not going anywhere! Ahh! Whaa-aa-oh! Ahh! Swell.

  Raimundo : Uhh!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : All right, Raimundo!

  Clay Bailey : Well done, pardner!

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : That's what I'm talking about!

  Omi : Raimundo, your performance in the showdown was most impressive, and you are not even a Xiaolin Apprentice.

  Raimundo : You're right, Omi. I'm not. So, where do you want 'em?

  Omi : Huh?

  Kimiko Tohomiko : What?

  Clay Bailey : Pardon me?

  Jack Spicer : Hey!

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : Oh, boy.

  Wuya : Ha ha ha ha! Well done, Raimundo.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Rai, what are you doing?

  Raimundo : I'm done with this whole Xiaolin thing. From now on, you can find me on the Heylin side. Golden Tiger Claws!

  Wuya : So long, Xiaolin Warriors.

  Jack Spicer : Bet you guys didn't see that coming. Ha ha ha ha ha!

  Wuya : Yes! Yes! This is the perfect spot from which to plan our conquest of the world!

  Raimundo : Um, I thought we were gonna do this in style? Video games, cold soda, hot pizza, lap of luxury? Any of that ringing a bell?

  Wuya : Patience, dear Raimundo. All that and more will be yours soon. The Reversing Mirror is the key to our victory. But to use it to its fullest effect, I need you to return to the Xiaolin Temple one last time.

  Raimundo : No way! Forget it! I'm done with this Xiaolin mook lifestyle! Find yourself another chump!

  Wuya : Did I mention your professional soccer team?

  Raimundo : Soccer team?

  Wuya : Yes. Ever wondered what it would be like to drink out of the World Cup?

  Raimundo : Okay, so what do I do?

  Wuya : Ha ha ha ha ha!

  Omi : Uhh! Uhh... huh! Uhh! Uhh... uhh!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Let me guess. There's some imperceptible form fault in your form that only you could possibly notice.

  Omi : Oh, no, Kimiko. My form is without flaws, naturally.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Naturally.

  Omi : But still I am dumped in the downs. Even training cannot lift my gloomy spirits.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : I know how you feel, Omi.

  Clay Bailey : Yeah. sitting on my spurs wouldn't hurt as much as this.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : I can't believe Rai has gone bad just because he didn't get promoted to Xiaolin Apprentice.

  Omi : Maybe that's because Raimundo hasn't gone bad.

  Clay Bailey : You care to connect those dots for me?

  Omi : Maybe Raimundo is enacting some secret and elaborate plan designed to... uhh lure evil into a false sense of confidence? Yes! That is clearly what Raimundo is doing!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Omi, that makes no sense... at all.

  Clay Bailey : Not even a little.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : The Shen Gong Wu Vault?

• Raimundo : Aah! Whoa! Should've picked a different showdown. Huh?

  Jack Spicer : Raimundo, head toward the light! Ha Ha ha ha!

  Raimundo : Uh-oh!

• Jack Spicer : Beat it Wuya!

  Wuya : Now, Jack. Don't be like that. Can't we let bygones be bygones?

  Jack Spicer : Your Mala Mala Jong goes bust, and now you expect me to take you back! Forget it. Not interested.

  Wuya : But you are interested, Jack, if you want to rule the world. You see, you need me to locate the Shen Gong Wu

  Jack Spicer : I need you? Actually, not so much. Behold! The Jack Spicer, Evil Boy Genius, Shen Gong Wu Detectobot. Patented pending

• Jack Spicer : Well, got that world conquering to do. Later! And don't be here when I get back.

  Wuya : Obsolete, am I? We'll see about that.

• Wuya : The what?

  Jack Spicer : Get this-- Not only can it tell when a Shen Gong Wu is activated, but it can also lead me to it. Face it, you old witch, you're obsolete.