Xiaolin Showdown (TV Series)

In the Flesh (2004)

Wayne Knight: Dojo Kanojo Cho

Quotes 

• Wuya : I'm sensing a Shen Gong Wu! We could begin our partnership right now. What do you say, Raimundo?

  Raimundo : I--I gotta go. Golden Tiger Claws!

  Master Fung : Ah, here it is. The Reversing...

  Raimundo : What is it? What's the Shen Gong Wu?

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : Where have you been, young man? I've worried sick, and whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a second. how'd you know there was an active Shen Gong Wu?

  Raimundo : Uh... well, you know, tiger instincts and all that. So, what is it?

  Master Fung : The Reversing Mirror. It reverses the effects of any Shen Gong Wu. For example, the Two Ton Tunic, would become light as a feather.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Whoa!

• Omi : Ooh, that is as Kimiko might say, "heavy... or not!"

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : Jokes aren't going to get Shen Gong Wu, people. Saddle up.

  Jack Spicer : What's the matter, Wuya? Need a hand? Ha ha ha. It's too bad yours are all ghosty.

  Wuya : The Reversing's mine! I found it first!

  Jack Spicer : Hey, you know what they say, finders keepers, losers weepers.

• Raimundo : Spicer, I challenge you to a Xiaolin Showdown.

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : What's the matter, Wuya? Got no one to root for?

  Wuya : Beat it, pest.

• Jack Spicer : Sorry, pal. You're not going anywhere! Ahh! Whaa-aa-oh! Ahh! Swell.

  Raimundo : Uhh!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : All right, Raimundo!

  Clay Bailey : Well done, pardner!

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : That's what I'm talking about!

  Omi : Raimundo, your performance in the showdown was most impressive, and you are not even a Xiaolin Apprentice.

  Raimundo : You're right, Omi. I'm not. So, where do you want 'em?

  Omi : Huh?

  Kimiko Tohomiko : What?

  Clay Bailey : Pardon me?

  Jack Spicer : Hey!

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : Oh, boy.

  Wuya : Ha ha ha ha! Well done, Raimundo.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Rai, what are you doing?

  Raimundo : I'm done with this whole Xiaolin thing. From now on, you can find me on the Heylin side. Golden Tiger Claws!

  Wuya : So long, Xiaolin Warriors.

  Jack Spicer : Bet you guys didn't see that coming. Ha ha ha ha ha!

  Wuya : Yes! Yes! This is the perfect spot from which to plan our conquest of the world!

  Raimundo : Um, I thought we were gonna do this in style? Video games, cold soda, hot pizza, lap of luxury? Any of that ringing a bell?

  Wuya : Patience, dear Raimundo. All that and more will be yours soon. The Reversing Mirror is the key to our victory. But to use it to its fullest effect, I need you to return to the Xiaolin Temple one last time.

  Raimundo : No way! Forget it! I'm done with this Xiaolin mook lifestyle! Find yourself another chump!

  Wuya : Did I mention your professional soccer team?

  Raimundo : Soccer team?

  Wuya : Yes. Ever wondered what it would be like to drink out of the World Cup?

  Raimundo : Okay, so what do I do?

  Wuya : Ha ha ha ha ha!

  Omi : Uhh! Uhh... huh! Uhh! Uhh... uhh!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Let me guess. There's some imperceptible form fault in your form that only you could possibly notice.

  Omi : Oh, no, Kimiko. My form is without flaws, naturally.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Naturally.

  Omi : But still I am dumped in the downs. Even training cannot lift my gloomy spirits.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : I know how you feel, Omi.

  Clay Bailey : Yeah. sitting on my spurs wouldn't hurt as much as this.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : I can't believe Rai has gone bad just because he didn't get promoted to Xiaolin Apprentice.

  Omi : Maybe that's because Raimundo hasn't gone bad.

  Clay Bailey : You care to connect those dots for me?

  Omi : Maybe Raimundo is enacting some secret and elaborate plan designed to... uhh lure evil into a false sense of confidence? Yes! That is clearly what Raimundo is doing!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Omi, that makes no sense... at all.

  Clay Bailey : Not even a little.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : The Shen Gong Wu Vault?

• Kimiko Tohomiko : This is bad. Very, very bad.

  Omi : If I had hair, it would be standing on end.

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : If I had boots, I'd be quaking in them.

  Clay Bailey : Wanna borrow mine?

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : No thanks. No feet.

  Omi : Wuya?

  Wuya : In the Flesh.

• Clay Bailey : Someone's opening it!

  Omi : Raimundo, you have returned! See? Secret, elaborate plan. What are you doing with the Serpent's Tail, my clever friend?

  Raimundo : Uh, stealing it.

  Omi : Oh, so it would appear. Secret, elaborate plan.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Omi, there's no plan. He's stealing our Shen Gong Wu

  Clay Bailey : Not on my watch! Ahh! Earth!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Fire!

  Raimundo : So, that's the way it's gonna be, huh?

  Kimiko Tohomiko : You tell us, Raimundo.

  Clay Bailey : You can always drop the Shen Gong Wu and leave.

  Raimundo : Nah, I'm up for a Xiaolin Slapdown. Aah! Wind!

  Omi : I am severely confused. This plan seems more elaborate than necessary.

  Raimundo : Ahh!

  Omi : Raimundo?

  Raimundo : Ahh! Wind!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Ahh! Omi, stop him!

  Omi : Raimundo, I am starting to think you are not enacting some sort of secret, elaborate plan.

  Raimundo : Nothing escapes you, Omi.

  Omi : Not even you.

  Raimundo : Wrong. Serpent's Tail!

  Omi : Ahh!

  Clay Bailey : Ahh!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Did he escape?

  Omi : Raimundo really has betrayed us.

  Master Fung : Raimundo stole our Shen Gong Wu? This is most troubling.

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, put a padlock on this thing!

  Clay Bailey : There's a bright side. He only rustled up one-- the Serpent's Tail.

  Omi : Why would Raimundo take just one Shen Gong Wu?

  Master Fung : Because that one Shen Gong Wu is all Wuya needs.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Is the Serpent's Tail really all that?

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : You got that ominous going on. Care to spill the beans?

  Master Fung : On its own the Serpent's Tail is no great threat, it makes a solid person ghostly.

  Dojo Kanojo Cho : But combined with Reversing Mirror...

  Omi : It would turn a ghostly person solid.

  Clay Bailey : Wuya!

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Wuya!

  Master Fung : Percisely.

  Raimundo : Ha! Special delivery.

  Wuya : The Serpent's Tail. Excellent! I'll soon be flesh again.

  Kimiko Tohomiko : Anything, Dojo?