- [Jackie has just beaten up Laurie]
- Hyde: You kicked her ass, man!
- Jackie Burkhardt: [exhausted] Yeah... yeah... whatever.
- [Hyde, Jackie, and Fez are playing Monopoly]
- Jackie Burkhardt: This game is just like real life! I am the richest of all!
- Laurie Forman: [to Kelso] Next time we go hiking, make sure you bring a blanket. I think I have a twig in my shorts.
- Hyde: What a coincidence. So does Kelso.
- Jackie Burkhardt: Laurie makes me so mad! I just want to rip out her hair, show it to her, and hope it doesn't grow back! I hate her!
- Hyde: Jackie, that's what she wants. She feeds on your anger, man. It only makes her stronger.
- Jackie Burkhardt: Well, then, what am I supposed to do?
- Hyde: If you really want to get under her skin, you have to be Zen.
- Jackie Burkhardt: Zen? Okay, you can't just make up words, Hyde.
- Hyde: No, man, Zen. At peace. Aloof. Zen.
- Jackie Burkhardt: Oh. Okay, then. Hyde, will you teach me how to be Zen?
- Hyde: You can't just teach someone to be Zen, Jackie. You can only *learn* to be Zen.
- Jackie Burkhardt: Okay, I don't understand.
- Hyde: Exactly. And that's your first lesson.
- Jackie Burkhardt: Huh?
- Hyde: Hey, man. It's better than Laurie being down here. She's like a big, cancerous tumor. Jackie, y'know, she's like a tiny benign cyst.
- Kitty Forman: [to Laurie] If you were REALLY an adult, you'd pick somebody with a future! Not Michael, who - God bless him! - will probably end up ripping tickets at the Tilt-a-Whirl... .