Full House (TV Series)
You Pet It, You Bought It (1994)
Bob Saget: Danny Tanner
Quotes
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[Michelle's pet donkey ate Stephanie's geography project]
Danny Tanner : Just take it easy, sweetheart. I'll write you a note.
Stephanie Tanner : What are you gonna say? The donkey ate my homework? I used that one last week.
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Danny Tanner : [blaming Jesse for Michelle purchasing Shorty] Jess, this is all your fault. "Hey, got to go out and live a little."
Jesse Katsopolis : A: I don't talk like that. 2: I thought she was going to the candy store. Now, unless that donkey has a creamy chocolate center, you can't blame me for this.
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Danny Tanner : [outraged that Shorty's head is in its place of General Cornwall's portrait] Great-Granddaddy Cornwall!
Jesse Katsopolis : You know, I'm finally starting to see the family resemblance.
[Danny takes Shorty's head from the portrait]
Michelle Tanner : Shorty, how could you?
Danny Tanner : That's it! He's out of here!
[starts towards the front door]
Joey Gladstone : Danny, where are you going?
Danny Tanner : [yelling outside] Anybody wanna buy a donkey?
Jesse Katsopolis : Danny, nobody wants to buy a donkey.
Michelle Tanner : I did.
Danny Tanner : [yelling outside] All right, anybody want a FREE donkey?
Female Neighbor : [from outside] Shut up, Tanner! I'd rather hear the donkey!
Becky Katsopolis : [drags Danny inside] Danny, come in here. The neighbors are armed and cranky.
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Danny Tanner : [to the neighbor as he is bringing Shorty in from the backyard] I'm sorry, okay? I'm bringing him in! Go back to bed! Put your guns on safety!
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Danny Tanner : [when Michelle comes home with a donkey] Please tell me that's a piñata.
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Danny Tanner : [about Michelle buying Shorty the donkey] Kimmy, how could you let this happen?
Kimmy Gibbler : Hey, I told her to go for the two ostriches.
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Danny Tanner : [about Shorty] Michelle, look, I'm sorry you got ripped off, but he cannot stay here in this house. He sheds, he stinks, he's dirty.
Stephanie Tanner : You let Kimmy in here.
Kimmy Gibbler : I don't shed.
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Danny Tanner : [about Shorty] How's anybody gonna sleep with this thing in the house? I'd take him back outside, but apparently it's donkey season.
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Danny Tanner : Guys, you are gonna love this. This is a piece of history, real Americana. I was going through some old family photos, right? And I found the picture of my great-great-grandfather, General Cornwall Tanner, okay? I had it blown up and completely restored. Look at this.
[shows the portrait]
Jesse Katsopolis : You should have just had it blown up.
[Jesse and Joey laugh over the joke]
Danny Tanner : Just so happens he was a great Civil War hero and this should be put in a place of honor.
Joey Gladstone : How about under the mantle?
Danny Tanner : The fireplace is under the mantle.
Joey Gladstone : I'll get the matches.
[Jesse and Joey laugh again]
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Kimmy Gibbler : [Danny is deciding where to put a picture of his great-grandfather, which looks like Bob Saget] Hey, Mr. T.
Danny Tanner : Hey.
Kimmy Gibbler : [looks at the picture] Did you get a picture of the front end of the horse, too?
Danny Tanner : This happens to be one of my relatives. If you'd like to see one of your relatives, why don't you go rent "Gorillas in the Mist"?