- Robbie Stewart: [Robbie puts the mullet on his head] ... and allow me to introduce myself... I'm Billy Ray Cyrus.
- Jackson Stewart: My door! Wha-where's my door?
- Robbie Stewart: Ok I-I know it looks bad but, it wasn't my fault! So, you want nuts with those brownies and some of those little sprinkly things?
- [Runs away]
- Jackson Stewart: Dang flabit! Robbie-Ray Stewart!
- [Goes after him]
- Jake Ryan: [speaking to the class] Even though I'm a TV superstar and was voted Teen Magazine's Hottie of the year...
- Lilly Truscott: Ooh! I framed the cover!
- Jake Ryan: Me too!
- Lilly Truscott: I hung it up in my bathroom!
- Jake Ryan: Me too!
- Lilly Truscott: Oh my God! We have so much in common! We both love you!
- Danny Dandruff: Say the line!
- Jake Ryan: Not now, I'm in the middle of something.
- Danny Dandruff: Say it!
- Jake Ryan: [carelessly] Dude, I've slayed you once don't make me slay you again.
- Danny Dandruff: Yeah, you're much better on tv.
- Oliver Oken: I can't believe we're going to be THIS close to a famous person!
- Miley Stewart: What am I? A grilled cheese sandwich?
- Lilly Truscott: When you're Miley, you might as well be.
- Mr. Corelli: Jake there's no need to be heroic. You do enough of that on TV.
- Miley Stewart: If he were really heroic he would've brought a pencil...
- Jake Ryan Fan: Oh my god you're Jake Ryan.
- Jake Ryan: Yeah I guess my disguise didn't work.
- Miley Stewart: Shocker...
- Jake Ryan Fan: Dude! You're Jake Ryan!
- Jake Ryan: Yeah, guess my disguise didn't really work...
- Jake Ryan Fan: Say the line!
- Jake Ryan: Nah...
- Jake Ryan Fan: Dude! SAY... THE LINE!
- Jake Ryan: [Without much effort] "Dude I slayed you once, don't make me slay you again,"
- Jake Ryan Fan: Yeah... you're better on TV.
- Robbie Stewart: [to a reporter to which Miley revealed she was Hannah and Miley was pretending not be Hannah by pretending she is] Last week, she was the Olsen twins. Both of them! Talk about a Full House!
- Oliver Oken: Wow, your car makes Jackson's look like a piece of...
- Jackson Stewart: [glares at him]
- Oliver Oken: PIE... yummy, yummy pie
- [smiles]
- Jackson Stewart: [dressed up as Elvis] Who's at the door? Is it my extra-cheesy pizza? Uh-huh... huh!