The Simpsons (TV Series)

Selma's Choice (1993)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson, Patty Bouvier, Selma Bouvier, Jacqueline Bouvier, Aunt Gladys

Quotes 

• Homer , Bart Simpson : [singing in the car]  On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor meatball...

  Marge : If you don't mind, we're on our way to a funeral!

  Homer : [singing]  Ding-dong, the witch is dead!

  Bart Simpson : Which old witch?

  Homer : The Wicked Witch!

• [during a video will from Great-Aunt Gladys] 

  Great-Aunt Gladys : Now, let's get down to business...

  Lionel Hutz : [dubbed in]  To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.

  Marge : MR. HUTZ!

  Lionel Hutz : You'd be surprised how often that works. You really would.

• [Homer has gotten food poisoning] 

  Marge : You look terrible.

  Homer : I don't care. I'm going to Duff Gardens!

  [he stands, then collapses and crawls out the door on his hand and knees. Cut to in the car, where he is shivering in the driver's seat, wrapped in a blanket] 

  Homer : So c-c-c-old...

  Marge : Your lips are turning blue. I think you'd better stay home.

  Homer : No! Duff Gardens... hurrah!

  [he passes out and hits the steering wheel, blaring the horn] 

• Patty Bouvier : He's hugging us - what do we do?

  [as Homer hugs both of them at the same time] 

  Selma Bouvier : Just close your eyes and think of MacGyver.

• Selma Bouvier : [after Selma had a poor date with Hans, and visualizing ugly and blind children; disgusted by his grotesque lips]  Yuck! Get outta my car.

  [drives off without him] 

  Hans Moleman : This isn't my house.

• Marge : Kids, your Great-Aunt Gladys has... passed on.

  Bart Simpson : Gladys, Gladys... 'bout yea high, blue hair, big dent in her forehead?

  Marge : No, honey, Gladys looked more like your Aunt Patty.

  Bart Simpson : [thinks, then shudders]  Oh yeah, there she is.

• Selma Bouvier : Don't blame these kids, I think their father might be missing a chromosome.

• Selma Bouvier : So, wearin' a belt, are ya?