The Simpsons (TV Series)

Homer Loves Flanders (1994)

Julie Kavner: Marge Simpson

Quotes 

• Marge : Hi! I'm so glad you're home!

  Homer : Can't talk. See Flanders. Later sex.

• Homer : God, if you really are God, you'll get me tickets to that game.

  [doorbell rings] 

  Ned Flanders : Heidely-ho, neighbor. Wanna go to the game with me? I got two tick...

  Homer : [slams the door, looks heavenward]  Why do you mock me, O Lord?

  Marge : Homer, that's not God. That's just a waffle that Bart tossed up there.

  [Marge scrapes it off the ceiling into Homer's hands] 

  Homer : I know I shouldn't eat thee, but...

  [bites] 

  Homer : Mmm, sacrilicious.

• [Bart pulls two tickets out of his pockets] 

  Bart Simpson : Hey dad, sell you these for fifty bucks!

  Homer Simpson : Woo-hoo! Sold!

  [without a second thought, pulls out fifty dollars, hands it to Bart and takes his tickets. Bart happily runs out of the house] 

  Marge Simpson : Those aren't tickets to the game, Homer.

  Homer Simpson : What do you mean? It says right here: "Free wig with every purchase of large wig. Downtown Wig Center."

  [realizing he's been had] 

  Homer Simpson : Why, you little... !

  [ponders] 

  Homer Simpson : Hmm, "free wig."

  [imagines putting on Marge-type wig and humming] 

  Homer Simpson : [in Marge voice]  I love you, Homie. Hmm.

  [in normal voice] 

  Homer Simpson : Heh heh heh. I don't need her at all anymore.