- Sheila Keefe: [singing] Happy Birth...
- Tommy's Dad: [interrupting] Shut your hole! I swear you start that happy birthday bullshit, I'll drop my pants right here and piss on this cake and walk right out of here.
- Tommy Gavin: OK everybody, on 3.
- Sheila: Look! It's a travel mug so you can drink your coffee on your way to work. It's nice right?
- Tommy Gavin: Oh yeah, it's gorgeous! You know, they should put a little screen on the side so you can watch gay porn in between sips.
- Sheila: It's nice!
- Tommy Gavin: It's gay.
- Sheila: It's got a no-spill feature. A lot of these mugs, they say they have it and it's total bullshit because THIS has an absolute no-spill feature. I read about it in GQ.
- Tommy Gavin: Yeah? Who wrote the article? Brian Boitano?
- Sheila Keefe: [singing] Happy Birt...
- Tommy's Dad: Shut you hole! I swear if any of you start with that happy birthday bullshit, I'm standing up and taking a piss on this cake and walking the hell out of here.
- Tommy Gavin: OK everybody on three.