SpongeBob SquarePants (TV Series)
MuscleBob BuffPants/Squidward the Unfriendly Ghost (1999)
Bill Fagerbakke: Patrick Star, Bartender
Photos
Quotes
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[SpongeBob and Patrick have broken Squidward's wax sculpture of himself, and think it's Squidward]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I don't know quite how to say this, but I'm afraid our dear pal Squidward is... is pushing up daisies.
Patrick : Oh, I thought he was dead.
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[SpongeBob and Patrick think Squidward is a ghost]
Squidward : Enough! Squidward's ghost is feeling unusually generous today, and has decided to spare ye a horrible fate. Sssss. All you must do is obey my every whim and tickle my fancy on demand.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Does that include...?
Squidward : Quiet! Do as you're told, lest you incur the wrath of Squidward!
Patrick : I think they make a cream for that now.
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Patrick : [on Squidward] Yeah, he really needs to go up to the great beyond.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Patrick, say that again.
Patrick : That again.
SpongeBob SquarePants : No, the other thing.
Patrick : No, the other thing.
SpongeBob SquarePants : No, what you said before when you...
Patrick : No, what you said before when you...
SpongeBob SquarePants : Nevermind, I've got an idea!
Patrick : Never mind, I've got an idea.
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SpongeBob SquarePants : Okay, Patrick, Hike!
[Patrick blows on some chess pieces, while SpongeBob carries a rock and drops it]
SpongeBob SquarePants : You just lost three points.
[climbs coral tree]
SpongeBob SquarePants : One, two, five.
[blows bubble shaped like a G and a 7]
SpongeBob SquarePants : G-7!
Patrick : G-7? King me! King me!
[runs into coral]
Patrick : I lose!
SpongeBob SquarePants : But it's not Tuesday, Patrick.
Patrick : Tartar sauce!
Squidward : [opens window from house] Hey! What are you invertebrates doing?
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick : We don't know.
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Squidward : I hunger for nourishment.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Nothing but the freshest, your ghostliness. A grape fresh from the vine, your noncorporealness. A banana peeled to your liking, your inmaterialness.
Patrick : [drops a huge watermelon on Squidward's mouth] One watermelon straight from the manure fields, your spookiness.
SpongeBob SquarePants : Art thou not pleased?
Squidward : Enough! I want something else, something hard to find.
SpongeBob SquarePants : We are here to please you.
Patrick : What do you hunger for, master?
Squidward : Cherry pie.
[Patrick pulls out a cherry pie from his back]
Squidward : Where did you get that?
Patrick : I found it.
Squidward : [throws away pie] Well, go find it again!
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SpongeBob SquarePants : [the duo knock over Squidward's wax sculpture of himself] Uh, Patrick I think there's something wrong with Squidward? He looks unconscious!
Patrick : Don't worry I know how to do this
[tries mouth to mouth resuscitation on the sculpture until he turns blue, floats up to the ceiling and lands on the sculpture's head]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Get off him Patrick!
Patrick : What are you worried about?
[the sculpture's flattened head appears to be smiling]
Patrick : he looks better already
SpongeBob SquarePants : [picks up the sculpture] But he still feels cold
Patrick : Well let's go put him in the warm
[places the sculpture in front of the window where the sun is shining]
SpongeBob SquarePants : Do you think he'll be okay?
Patrick : You know, you worry too much.
[the sculpture begins to melt]
Patrick : The Patrick is here and SpongeBob I know a lot about head injuries, believe...
[starts to drool as SpongeBob snaps his fingers at him to snap him out of it]
Patrick : ... me. Hey, what's that on your shoe?
[Sponge looks down]
SpongeBob SquarePants : I don't know
Patrick : It kind of looks like...
[the sculpture has melted into a puddle with Squidward's face]
SpongeBob SquarePants , Patrick : [horrified] Squidward!
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[as Squidward floats up to the surface in a bubble]
SpongeBob SquarePants : He's on the other side now.
Patrick : Yeah. He's in a better place.
[Squidward sits in the bubble, surrounded by flocks of seagulls, and moans in distress]
