Futurama (TV Series)

The Honking (2000)

Billy West: Philip J. Fry, Prof. Hubert J. Farnsworth, Dr. Zoidberg, Uncle Vladimir, Car Smasher #2, Robot Farmer

Photos 

Quotes 

• Robot Villager #1 : Some say unholy things happen up there.

  Robot Villager #2 : For example, all of us say that.

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Pfft! Superstitious robot mumbo-jumbo!

  Robot Villager #2 : Mumbo, perhaps. Jumbo, perhaps not.

• Uncle Vladimir : Come, Bender. You'll like being dead.

  Bender : That's what they said about being alive!

• Fry : Poor Bender, you're seeing things. You've been drinking too much, or too little, I forget how it works with you. Anyway, you haven't drunk exactly the right amount.

• [Bender, Fry, and Leela are looking for the original were-car] 

  Robot Farmer : Ye think me be he?

  Bender : Si!

  Robot Farmer : Ni! I mean no.

• [last lines] 

  Fry : You didn't hurt me at all! But I know you wanted to, and *that's* what matters.

  [Fry takes out a bottle of beer] 

  Fry : [drinks it]  Ah.

  Bender : [suddenly angry]  Hey, that's my last beer! You bastard! I'll kill you!

  Fry : [friendly tone]  I'll kill you too, buddy. I'll kill you too.

  [Bender starts choking Fry] 

• Calculon : The year was 2019, and I was just a lowly robot arm working on Project Satan, a savage, intelligent military car built from the most evil parts of the most evil cars in all the world. The steering wheel from Hitler's staff car. The left turn signal from Charles Manson's VW. The windshield wipers from that car that played Knight Rider.

  Fry : Knight Rider wasn't evil.

  Calculon : His windshield wipers were. It didn't come up much in the show, though. Anyway, only after bringing Project Satan to live did they discover they had made a horrible mistake. For you see, it was pure evil!

• Robot Villager #2 : With all your modern science, are you any closer to understanding the mysteries of how a robot walks and talks?

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : Yes, you idiot! The circuit diagram is right here on the inside of your case.

  [Opens the panel on robot's chest] 

  Robot Villager #2 : [closes panel]  I choose to believe what I was PROGRAMMED to believe!

• Gypsy-bot : Each night your attacks will become more gruesome, until one dark night, you are doomed to kill your dearest friend.

  Fry : I wouldn't want to be me right now.

• Fry : I can't believe it. Bender is supposed to kill his closest friend, which I thought was me, but instead he went straight for you. He didn't even try to second-degree murder me.

  Leela : Could you give me some help? I think Bender crushed my foot.

  Fry : Stop rubbing it in!

• Bender : I got a good vibe from this place. Nice, long dinner table; quiet, well behaved spiders; graveyard adjacent; Yep, this is going to be... Aah!

  Leela : What is it?

  Bender : That painting! The eyes are watching me!

  Professor Hubert Farnsworth : It has motorized sensors attached to motion detectors.

  Bender : So does my butt, but I don't frame it and put it on the wall. Although...

• Leela : There, no rampaging for you tonight.

  Bender : Wouldn't it make sense to weld everyone except me to the wall?

  Leela : Just relax, Bender. Tomorrow we'll pry you down, have a nice breakfast, and then go hunt down and slaughter that ancient evil.

  Fry : It'll be a rich, full day.

• Fry : [as Were-Car Bender goes after Leela]  You jerk! I thought I was your best friend! What kind of two-timing killmobile are you?

• Fry : Words, nothing but sweet, sweet words that turn into bitter, orange wax in my ears.

• [Bender fully transforms into the Were-Car as Project Satan pulls up beside him] 

  Project Satan : [evilly]  Take whichever one you want!

  Bender : [excited]  Oh, boy! I feel like a car in a Candy Store!

  [Bender decides between Fry and Leela and chases after Fry] 

  Fry : [running]  Yes! He chose me! He's trying to kill *me*!

• [Project Satan lands on a ramp, chuckles but then sees that he's heading towards the fiery furnace, he brakes but slides sideways into the furnace and melts, lifting the curse and Bender, still in mid-air between ramps, transforms back into a robot] 

  Bender : Uh-oh!

  [Bender crash-lands at the bottom of the other ramp] 

  Leela : [runs over as Bender gets up]  Bender! You're cured! But what happened to Fry?

  Bender : [emotionally]  I must've killed him! He was my *best friend*! And I killed him! Ahh! I never felt so empty inside!

  [Bender's door opens, revealing Fry alive cooped up inside] 

  Fry : [relieved]  Bender! I'm alive!

  [Fry climbs out] 

  Fry : You didn't hurt me at all!