- Donatello: Well, April, how does it feel being a human again?
- April O'Neil: Awful! My nails are absolutely ruined from walking around on all fours!
- Raphael: Yep, she's back to being a woman again!
- Leonardo: [imitating Humphrey Bogart after a Chinese thug calls him "Humphrey Bogus] You hit the nail right on the head sweetheart
- Michelangelo: [also imitating Bogart] Now listen here you mugs, I'm giving the orders around here, see!
- [his brothers look at him in confusion]
- Michelangelo: Alright so I don't do Bogart.
- April O'Neil: [after Irma leaves her apartment after her cat instincts start kicking it] Ooh, I thought she'd never leave!
- [gets down on all fours and drinks the milk from the bowl with the cats she brought into her apartment]
- Shredder: [Shredder has caught April who has mutated into a cat person and put her in a cage] Get her something to eat! It may calm her down.
- Bebop: Uh, I have just the thing, boss.
- [pulls a mouse out of his pocket]
- Bebop: Hey, kitty look at what Bebop got you for din-din
- [the mouse bites him and he drops it in the cage]
- Bebop: Ow!
- Shredder: [April looks at the mouse, screams and backs away from it] You fool! She's still more female than feline!
- [April hisses at him]
- Shredder: Hmm, she may not eat a rodent, but perhaps she'll help me hunt one down.
- Donatello: [a female cat approaches him and he pets her mistaking her for April] Hi there, pussycat. What's your name?
- [the cat jumps into his arms and nuzzles him]
- Donatello: Is that really you April?
- [the cat meows and purrs]
- Donatello: See I told you I was her favorite!
- Raphael: It's not you man, it's those anchovy pizzas you eat!
- April O'Neil: [to the turtles as a cat woman under Shredder's control with a collar] Must kill all of you, Shredder commands it!
- April O'Neil: [after she goes through the teleporter with a cat] What happened? I feel so woozy
- [gasps as she notices that she has grown cat claws]
- April O'Neil: What's going on?
- Michelangelo: [while watching a movie] Oh, awesome. Who's the slime monster gonna scarf up next?
- Raphael: Who cares as long as she's a real good screamer.
- April O'Neil: This is April O'Neil, Channel 6 news, speaking with this year's winner of the fat cabbies contest, Myron Bimbleton. Tell us, what is the secret of your success?
- Myron Bimbleton: Uh, chili burgers and onions. Lots of onions.
- April O'Neil: [disgusted] Oh, you said a mouthful, Myron.
- [Myron burps]
- April O'Neil: This is April O'Neil. Channel 6 news.
- Vernon Fenwick: Okay, that's a wrap.
- April O'Neil: Really, Vernon, why must I do these idiotic human interest stories?
- Vernon Fenwick: Because the public eats them up.
- April O'Neil: Right, with lots of onions.
- April O'Neil: April here. What's up, guys?
- Donatello: We've got an emergency and we need your help.
- April O'Neil: Now, this sounds like a real story.
- Donatello: Uh, uh, right, yeah. There are these gigantic alligators in the sewer.
- April O'Neil: Fantastic! I'll bring my video camera.
- Donatello: Uh, we'd rather you brought a spare TV instead.
- April O'Neil: Huh?
- [later, April is at the turtles' lair]
- April O'Neil: Oh, you got me over here so you could watch a MOVIE about alligators in the sewers?
- Michelangelo: [while watching TV] Exactamundo. Ha ha ha. Awesome flick, isn't it?
- Raphael: Hey, you guys want to hold it down? You're drowning out all the screams.
- April O'Neil: [finds a Chinese food carton] Chinese food? Don't tell me that you guys have given up pizza.
- Leonardo: It's Rocksteady and Bebop's. It's not bad enough they trashed the place, they also left their garbage!
- Irma Langinstein: My best friend has turned into a cat. I don't know whether to call 911 or the animal shelter.
- Leonardo: Okay. So... So what happened to April?
- Irma Langinstein: [starts talking rapidly] Well, first she turned into a cat, and then she drank milk from a saucer, and then she jumped out the window, and then she went to some man called Shredder, and then she went to...
- Raphael: Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. Slow down.
- Michelangelo: Right. Could you, like, rewind that and play it back at normal speed?
- [the turtles get ready to enter April's apartment through the window only to find Irma already inside]
- Irma Langinstein: Hi, fellas. What took you so long?
- Raphael: Irma! How'd you get in here?
- Irma Langinstein: I've got a key.
- Donatello: You mean we climbed that fire escape for nothing?
- Leonardo: It's okay. We needed the workout.
- [after Michelangelo uses a wind-up toy mouse to lure the tiger into a cage and trap it]
- Leonardo: Boy, Michelangelo, you and your dumb toys.
- Michelangelo: Like I always say: Never look a gift mouse in the mouth.
- Leonardo, Raphael, Donatello: Oooh!
- Irma Langinstein: [on the turtlecom] Hello? Is anyone there?
- Leonardo: Who are you?
- Irma Langinstein: Never mind that. Who are you?
- Leonardo: I'm Leonardo.
- Irma Langinstein: [gasps] You really are a turtle.
- Raphael: Congratulations, lady. You just won the national wildlife award.
- Irma Langinstein: Yoohoo! Splinter? Are you in there?
- Donatello: Irma, what are you doing in the sewers?
- Irma Langinstein: Well, a woman will go to any depths to meet her dream man. Now, where is this hunky Splinter guy?
- [Splinter enters]
- Splinter: I am Splinter.
- Irma Langinstein: [gasps] You're a... You're a rat!
- Splinter: Precisely. You must be Irma.
- Irma Langinstein: Wrong. I must be going.
- [runs away]
- Irma Langinstein: AAH!