- The boys start a group to stop a maniacal Steven Spielberg and George Lucas from altering Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) while also catering to a group who demand a trailer-trash toddler murderer be freed.
- The boys form a club to save classic movies from being re-issued by their greedy directors, and find themselves fighting with Steven Spielberg and George Lucas over a planned re-release of Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981).—Mike
- After going to see the re-re-release of "The Empire Strikes Back," the boys are outraged when the film notes that the term "Wookie" has been changed to "Hair-Challenged Animal," and the entire cast has been digitally replaced by Ewoks.
Having seen how Steven Spielberg changed E.T. and what George Lucas had done to his Star Wars series, the boys decide to form a club to save films from their filmmakers. Stan posts up a sign to meet in the school gymnasium the next day, but Cartman claims that people won't come unless they give out free stuff. Cartman then writes "Free Hat" on the side of the sign, and then assigns Tweek to make 50 hats out of newspaper. Tweek freaks out at having to do this, and attempts to work all night on them.
Tweek meets the boys the next day but only shows up having made 15 hats. Kyle claims this might be enough, but Stan reports a shocking site: the gymnasium is packed! Kyle claims that maybe theses people don't care about the free hat, but suddenly, chants of "Free hat!" can be heard from inside the gym. Tweek is ready to run away, but Stan explains they'll just have to explain to everyone that there aren't enough free hats.
When the boys explain this to the audience, the audience claims that they don't care about free hats, but about "freeing Hat:" Hat McCollough, a man who was jailed in 1982, and whom the entirety of the people there claim should be freed.
Stan explains that there appears to be a misunderstanding, and explains the real focus of the group. This causes the entire number of people in the gym to disperse, until Stan pleads with the people to support their cause to save the films they grew up with from being changed. When almost noone responds, Stan also agrees that they'll work towards trying to free Hat as well (eliciting cheers from the crowd).
The boys are soon after asked to speak on Nightline, where both the issue of freeing Hat McCollough and the 'saving films from their directors comes up.' The host of Nightline shocks the boys by asking first about Hat, who confessed to killing 23 babies. Speaking duties on this are quickly passed to Tweek, who barely manages an answer in the face of such a shocking revelation. When the topic turns to saving films, the host of Nightline reveals that Steven Spielberg and George Lucas are also on the show. Cartman counters that money is the motivational factory behind the changes, but Spielberg counters that changing E.T. was the best thing he ever did. Kyle then explains that this was a bad decision, and would rank up with the concept of changing 'Raiders of the Lost Ark.' His words have the opposite effect on Spielberg and Lucas, who love the idea!
A new meeting is held of the group and their members, in which a plan is set to steal the original negatives for "Raiders of the Lost Ark" to protect it from Spielberg and Lucas. The group members feel this is important...but should be done once they have freed Hat. The boys soon question Hat's killing of 23 babies, and the group explains that the killings were done in self-defense, and this is why they believe he should be released. Even though they rally the group to help recover the original negative, the free Hat persons instead go off to talk to the governor about Hat.
The boys then complete their break-in of Skywalker Ranch, but are caught by George Lucas before they can escape. They attempt to change Lucas' attitude with a fresh island song, but this backfires and he calls the Police. The boys then attempt to convince Lucas again not to hand over the print of the film to Spielberg, but just then, Steven arrives flanked by his bodyguards (carrying armed walkie-talkies!). Through forceful dialogue, Spielberg claims the film's print and captures the boys, except for Tweek who manages to escape.
Tweek tries to get the other members of their club to help the boys, but they are still more concerned with getting Hat pardoned. Desperate, Tweek takes matters into his own hands. Catching up to Spielberg, Lucas, and the others on their way to the film's premiere, Tweek comes armed with a rocket launcher, threatening to destroy the new film. However, Spielberg manages to get the better of Tweek, saying how eager he is deep down inside to see what the new film has in it.
Tweek is then taken with the boys to the film's premiere, where Spielberg claims that after the screening of the new version of "Raiders of The Lost Ark," they will destroy the old prints. As the film starts, Stan tells everyone not to look at the print. As the film plays, it suddenly causes everyone in the audience to die, along with Spielberg, Lucas, and Francis Ford Coppola.
Having survived the ordeal, the boys return to South Park where a big celebration is being held. However, the joy on the boy's faces soon turns to confusion when they find the party isn't for them...but for the news that Hat McCollough has been freed from prison!
In the aftermath, the boys then wonder if they did the right thing, and what will most likely come of the original negatives. Stan explains that they will be stored somewhere safe.
The final shots show the negatives sealed in a wooden crate, and stored in a huge warehouse...which is where all the relief funds for 9/11 have supposedly been stored as well.
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