- Frank Barone: [after Robert told a joke about an old man forgetting where he lives] That's good. I love an old man joke.
- Marie Barone: I married one.
- Frank Barone: Another good one!
- Ray Barone: It's like getting into a hot bath. You know, at first, you don't think you can take it. But then, you know, once you get all your luggage in it's not that bad.
- Ray Barone: [about Robert and Frank] If either of them say one more word to me, I'm gonna go Batman on their ass!
- Marie Barone: Debra, I don't know why your rolls are all left. I liked them. The burnt part gave them some flavor. Don't worry about those pots and pans, honey. I know how to do those.
- Debra Barone: Well, cleaning is cleaning.
- Marie Barone: [exiting] You'd think so.
- [Debra picks up a frying pan and starts charging toward Marie. Ray grabs the pan out of her hands]
- Ray Barone: All right. There it is. The raising of the pan. Thanksgiving is officially over.
- Debra Barone: And always with that little smile. She's so good at that.
- Ray Barone: Yeah. That was like a drive-by.
- Debra Barone: I should just tell her to...
- Ray Barone: You know what you could do?
- Debra Barone: What?
- Ray Barone: Gobble. Yeah, if you gobble, then she'll get bored, and she'll just leave you alone.
- Debra Barone: Thanks.
- Ray Barone: "Oh, Debra, I envy you, the way you can just roll out of bed and put on anything and not even care" Gobble gobble gobble gobble!
- Debra Barone: You know what? You might be right.
- Ray Barone: What?
- Debra Barone: Everything I told Ally about pretending it doesn't bother her, why haven't I tried that with your mother?
- Ray Barone: Because that's how you deal with children. Yeah, okay... but normal children. This one's big and a little off her nut.
- Debra Barone: No no. Every time Marie says something mean or insulting, I get mad. Maybe that's why she keeps doing it. I should just change the way I react to her. God, that's in every book.
- Ray Barone: Books. There's nothing wrong with how you react.
- Debra Barone: Ray, I wanted to hit her with a frying pan.
- Ray Barone: Get in line.